Strength and Encouragement Courtesy of Yoda

Courtesy of freeimages.com

I struggle with people-pleasing and caring too much what people think (among the many other issues I deal with. I know, I’m in process.). 

One cause of this is that I'm petite. Everyone is bigger than me. They can outrun me AND beat me up. Staying on peoples' good side is necessary for my survival, but over the years it's gotten out of hand. 

Overcoming and moving on from these issues has become a major theme for me. When I'm afraid or heartbroken or weary I look for the strength to stand.

I’ve been looking for quite a while. I'm still looking.

I realize now that I've had it backward.

First I have to stand, then I have to trust that the strength will be there when I take a step. 

I need to fake it ‘til I make it. I need to think strong because “as a man thinks in his heart, so he is.”  (Prov 23:7 KJV)

I need to take a lesson from Yoda -- Do or Do Not. There Is No Try. 

God said something similar when Israel was on the brink of conquering the Promised Land (this was the second time. They were too stupid/fearful/weak to learn the first time. Yay for second chances). Eight times Joshua and/or Israel were told,  "Be strong and courageous." Sounds like they needed as much en-courage-ment as I do.

God didn't command them, "Try to be strong and courageous." He didn't tell them, "Think about being strong and courageous."  He said to BE strong and courageous. If He commanded it, it must be possible.

I’m not going to try strong. I’m going to Do. 

And when I fail, as I surely will, there will be a second chance to move forward. 

A Spoonful of Grace Helps the Judgement Go Down

Today I had the privilege of reading Heather's latest blog entry on freelybroken.blogspot.com.  In it she candidly shares her struggle with being judgmental.  I wanted to post a comment on her blog about what helps me in that area, but then I decided that, as long-winded as I can be, it might be better to blog on it myself.  

 

So what do I do to combat being judgmental?  (I use the word combat on purpose, because it is definitely a battle)  Two things that are closely related.

A)  In my experience, most of the time people hurt us unintentionally.  I can't take the offense (real or made up) personally.  The Rude Cashier didn't mean for the comment to sound so harsh.  The Stupid Driver didn't single me out to cut me off, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  My Friend didn't intend to make that horrible decision to aggravate me, something else must be going on in her life.  Don't take it personally.  Try to give the benefit of the doubt.  A little grace can go a long way.  

Even if we suspect what they did WAS intentional, what better way to diffuse it and make it stop than to let it roll off?  Truthfully, nothing gets my goat more than someone who won't fight with me when I want them to, but it does take two to tangle.  Yes, I will be a little perturbed that you're not going to be baited, but really, it will be so fun for you to watch my reaction.  (Okay, my human nature is coming out)  It's also helpful to remember Proverbs 19:11, A man's wisdom gives him patience;  it is to his glory to overlook an offense.   I usually have to quote it to myself early and often.

2) I remind myself that I do not have all the information on a person or situation.  For all I know, the Rude Cashier may just have learned that her mother is dying of cancer.  The Stupid Driver may be losing his job at the end of the week.  My Friend who made a stupid decision might be influenced by people or situations I know nothing about.  There is nearly always more to the story than I know at the time.

This is the way that I try to react when confronted with Rude Cashier:  "Wow, she seems to be having a bad day.  I wonder why?  Did I do something to contribute to it and need to apologize?  No.  Is there anything I can do to help turn her day around?  Yes.  I can be sure to smile at her and tell her 'Thank you.'  I can try to lighten the day with a funny observation.  Above all, I can pray for her, that God will meet her where she is right now and shine His light into her life.  That He would send His comfort and strength, wisdom and understanding into whatever situation she is facing today.  That I can be His hands and feet to her." 

I'll be the first (and loudest) to admit that I don't always succeed in this.  But I am trying to follow Romans 12:2 and "no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind."  Transformation takes both time and the power of the Holy Spirit. 

God overlooks the hundreds of times each day that I snub him.  He forgives me when I'm harsh with my kids and my husband.  He waits patiently when I cut Him off before He's finished talking to me.   The least I can do is try to extend that same grace to others.

Updates and Boundaries

UPDATE: With this post I am reaching my weekly goal of posting here at least once a calendar week.  Yeah me!

The writing for 15 minutes a day is not going so well.  I'm procrastinating on my skit.  But I've had several ideas for my blog, which is half the battle there.  I hope to get a chunk done on the skit this weekend as Matthew will be out of town and I seem to be somewhat caught up on my housework so I won't have my To Do List nagging at me.  Nathan and Clinton, however, do remain factors in play...  Boo me!

UPDATE: On another note, yes, I gained a few pounds over the holidays.  Doing okay (not terrific, but respectable) on the exercise but having no motivation on the eating.  But I'm working on it, and Joline and her exemplary eating habits are kicking in my guilt complex.  The self-motivation will follow as soon as I'm done with the self-loathing part.  Boo me!

NEW STUFF:  In addition to the Daily Audio Bible, I listen to the Daily Audio Proverb podcast.  One chapter of Proverbs a day, so all of Proverbs in a month, twelve times a year.  The ultimate book of wisdom.  As you well know, I could definitely use me some wisdom.

Today is the 22nd so we read from Proverbs 22.  Something I heard this morning in verse 28 got me to thinking. (No smarty pants comments on that part, please.  I've heard it all before.)  The Contemporary English Version says, "Do not move a boundary marker set up by your ancestors."   

I've always thought of this verse in the physical, property line way, and it certainly does mean that.  This verse is good advice for maintaining warm fuzzy feelings with your neighbors.  But today it hit me that this verse also applies to boundaries in life.

What I mean here is that the rules haven't changed.  What was right and wrong generations ago, even back to "Bible Times," is still right and wrong today.  Don't move the line, or the law, based on the whim of the moment.

The laws of physics don't change.  The laws of nature don't change.  It's as true today as it was yesterday that if you jump off a cliff you will get hurt.  It doesn't matter if you think you won't get hurt.  It doesn't matter if you think you shouldn't get hurt.  The fact is you WILL get hurt.  Those property lines haven't budged a millimeter since the dawn of time. Truthfully, they are there as much for our protection as for our limitation.

The laws of right and wrong do not change simply based on what we want right and wrong to be.  If you do wrong things you'll pay the consequences.  Just because we don't like where the boundary is placed doesn't mean we have the option of moving it to suit our fancy.  I realize that many things are not black and white, but some things are, and we need to maintain those boundary lines in order to not lose the deed to the property altogether.

On biblegateway.com, the footnote to Proverbs 22:28; reads "In ancient Israel boundary lines were sacred because all property was a gift from the Lord (see Deuteronomy 19.14)."  Time and again in the Old Testament we see the Israelites mess with the spiritual boundaries God gave them until they finally got physically kicked out of the promised land. 

I don't know about you, but I would rather not have to pick up and move out of my promised land any time soon.