The Prodigal Brothers: Judas and Peter

Judas and Peter were with Jesus from the beginning of His ministry. Both witnessed the same miracles and learned the same teaching. Both helped feed the five-thousand, watched Jesus calm the storm, and marveled at His countless healings.

Both betrayed Him, AFTER Jesus Himself told them they would.

Yet one is searing in hell and the other is seated in heaven.

How could that have happened?

Everyone believed that when Messiah came He would free Israel from the shackles of Roman rule. But three years later, when Jesus had yet to talk about even forming an army, many gave up on Him. Judas wasn’t one of them. 

Perhaps Judas thought that by handing Jesus over to His enemies it would force Jesus to go ahead and declare war on Rome. We don’t know, but one thing is certain—it didn’t go the way Judas thought it would. When he realized it he was overcome with sorrow.

Peter, on the other hand, declared his fierce loyalty to Jesus no matter what the status of His Kingdom, even to the point of death. But just a few hours after this bold statement, Peter denied even knowing Him at all.  When Peter realized what he had done, he too was overcome with sorrow.

Judas’ and Peter’s stories share similarities with the parable of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15). 

The older brother was angry with their father for not behaving in the way he thought he should. Jesus didn’t behave the way Judas thought He should.

The older brother betrayed his father as much as the younger did.  Didn’t the older brother know his father’s heart at all?  Surely both brothers knew their father loved them deeply and was a compassionate man.  Surely both had seen their father’s good, even extravagant, treatment of his servants.  Yet one believed in his father’s love and generosity while the other wouldn’t.

While Judas was sorrowful, we don’t know that he was repentant, although Jesus did forgive him. Perhaps Judas didn’t trust Jesus’ heart in the same way the older brother didn’t trust his father’s heart. 

Peter, like the younger son, repented and gave Jesus a chance to forgive him.  Perhaps Peter felt, as the younger son did, that even if Jesus didn’t reinstate him as an Apostle, at least he could still be a follower.

Is repentance what made all the difference between where Judas and Peter are today?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that even our worst betrayal doesn’t have to be the end of our story. There is forgiveness.

God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. (John 3:17)

Getting My Guard Up, part 2

For the record, I am not a perfectionist.  I am not a control freak.  If I wasn't a Christian I probably would be both of those, but because of the Grace of God I am not.  

I do, however, like to do my very best when it counts.  For instance, keeping my house sparkling and spotless is not someplace it counts, although I do make sure my house is functional and clean-enough-to-not-encourage-the-spread-of-disease.  When writing for myself (i.e. this blog) I don't edit as judiciously as I do projects that involve other people.  I'm going with the stream of consciousness thing here. (And you wondered why I don't always make much sense.  Welcome to the chaos that is Mommy Brain.)

It's been two weeks since I posted about guarding my heart.  I am failing.  Sometimes I'm failing miserably and sometimes I do fairly well, but for all the newly-acquired insight I have obtained on the subject, the actual implementation is elusive. 

The Debbie Translation:  I need "a little less talk, a lot more action."  

To guard my heart I have to start with guarding my mind. 

WAY.  EASIER.  SAID.  THAN.  DONE.

Being as my brain is always going 976 mph, it's not easy to keep up.  I let my mind wander for a split second, my imagination ignites and I'm right back to where I started.  My current favorite facebook status, "Don't believe everything you think. It's bound to create problems that don't even exist," helps a lot, but it's still doesn't cover all the bases.

I'm totally understanding Paul here when he talks in Romans 7 about the interior war, the spiritual parts within us versus the earthly and sinful parts.  If Paul struggled with that, I'm going to as well, until death do I depart. 

I don't want to keep fighting the same battle day after day after day.  (No wonder cooking and cleaning are not among my favorite things.)  I want to have my heart well-protected yesterday. Then I can move on to other things.

*sigh*  It ain't happenin'.

Sometimes I am the Warrior Princess, slaying the dragons to protect myself and my family.  Other times I am the little girl hiding in the corner, discouraged and defeated.

All the time I am too hard on myself.  Doing my best does not mean I will always get it right (although obviously somewhere deep inside I think it should).  

I remind myself, here and now, that transformation takes time.  It's not a quick fix or instantaneous change. I can't undo forty years of wounds and negative patterns in two weeks.  And, although God can do that in me, He's choosing to heal and transform me a little bit at a time.

He continues to extend Grace and Mercy to me.  I need to extend some to myself. 

A Spoonful of Grace Helps the Judgement Go Down

Today I had the privilege of reading Heather's latest blog entry on freelybroken.blogspot.com.  In it she candidly shares her struggle with being judgmental.  I wanted to post a comment on her blog about what helps me in that area, but then I decided that, as long-winded as I can be, it might be better to blog on it myself.  

 

So what do I do to combat being judgmental?  (I use the word combat on purpose, because it is definitely a battle)  Two things that are closely related.

A)  In my experience, most of the time people hurt us unintentionally.  I can't take the offense (real or made up) personally.  The Rude Cashier didn't mean for the comment to sound so harsh.  The Stupid Driver didn't single me out to cut me off, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  My Friend didn't intend to make that horrible decision to aggravate me, something else must be going on in her life.  Don't take it personally.  Try to give the benefit of the doubt.  A little grace can go a long way.  

Even if we suspect what they did WAS intentional, what better way to diffuse it and make it stop than to let it roll off?  Truthfully, nothing gets my goat more than someone who won't fight with me when I want them to, but it does take two to tangle.  Yes, I will be a little perturbed that you're not going to be baited, but really, it will be so fun for you to watch my reaction.  (Okay, my human nature is coming out)  It's also helpful to remember Proverbs 19:11, A man's wisdom gives him patience;  it is to his glory to overlook an offense.   I usually have to quote it to myself early and often.

2) I remind myself that I do not have all the information on a person or situation.  For all I know, the Rude Cashier may just have learned that her mother is dying of cancer.  The Stupid Driver may be losing his job at the end of the week.  My Friend who made a stupid decision might be influenced by people or situations I know nothing about.  There is nearly always more to the story than I know at the time.

This is the way that I try to react when confronted with Rude Cashier:  "Wow, she seems to be having a bad day.  I wonder why?  Did I do something to contribute to it and need to apologize?  No.  Is there anything I can do to help turn her day around?  Yes.  I can be sure to smile at her and tell her 'Thank you.'  I can try to lighten the day with a funny observation.  Above all, I can pray for her, that God will meet her where she is right now and shine His light into her life.  That He would send His comfort and strength, wisdom and understanding into whatever situation she is facing today.  That I can be His hands and feet to her." 

I'll be the first (and loudest) to admit that I don't always succeed in this.  But I am trying to follow Romans 12:2 and "no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind."  Transformation takes both time and the power of the Holy Spirit. 

God overlooks the hundreds of times each day that I snub him.  He forgives me when I'm harsh with my kids and my husband.  He waits patiently when I cut Him off before He's finished talking to me.   The least I can do is try to extend that same grace to others.

Grace and Mercy, Mercy and Grace

Mercy pays my debt and brings my account back to zero.
Grace deposits above and beyond what I deserve.
Mercy is when the Father ran out to the Prodigal and embraced him, welcoming home the son.
Grace killed the fatted calf and brought the robe and ring, restoring him as an heir.