Saturday, December 26, 2009

Away, and alone, in a manger

This Christmas season, I found myself pondering the birth of our Lord.  For some reason, even though I’ve known the story of Jesus’ birth my whole life, it struck me in a new way this year.  It suddenly struck me that Mary and Joseph were alone when Jesus was born, and how unusual that would have been.  I guess, in reality, their families could have been there with them, but Luke 2 says that when the shepherds got to the stable they found only Mary, Joseph and the baby.  

What was the deal with their families?

I’m especially curious because when a woman is about to give birth she is usually surrounded by family and friends, at the very least by close relatives like her mother.   Where was Mary’s mother?   Where was the rest of Mary’s family?  For that matter, what about Joseph’s family?  

Clinton had an interesting thought about it.  He wondered if maybe they were alone because their families shunned them due to Mary’s pregnancy.   Unmarried daughter claims the child she carries is God’s child, and her fiancĂ©e is going to marry her anyway?  At the very least they would have been accused of disgraceful behavior, and at the most of being completely insane.   The possibility of the pain and suffering Mary and Joseph may have experienced, through no fault of their own, made me so sad! How lonely they must have felt!

I tried to picture what it could have been like for their families.  I would think that both families were surely in Bethlehem at the same time, as both Mary and Joseph were descendants of David.  EVERYONE had to go to his own town to be taxed and counted for the census.   Surely their families were there.

How would the families have heard about the baby if they were estranged from Mary and Joseph?  Even with Bethlehem full to overflowing with people, a story as unusual as the one the shepherds told would surely have reached every nook and cranny of every street corner.  Imagine the possibility that the new grandparents would have heard along with all the rest of Bethlehem about their grandson being born. What would the family members’ reactions have been, hearing that the baby born in a manger was their grandson/nephew/cousin?  

What could have been their reaction to the amazing story the shepherds told?  Angels declared that Mary and Joseph’s baby was the Christ.  Perhaps they reconsidered the truthfulness of what Mary had told them about Jesus’ conception.  Do you think they were more likely to have believed the shepherds’ story than the average citizen did?

I felt a glimmer of hope.  If they were estranged, could the birth of grandson Jesus have helped to heal the rift?  We know that at least by the time Jesus was twelve that He and the Holy Family were surrounded by extended family (Luke 2:44).   Even if they didn’t fully believe He was the promised Messiah, somewhere along the line forgiveness and reconciliation had to have occurred.

Jesus' conception and birth may have caused a rift in his earthly family. I don't really know.  But I am comforted that if there was an estrangement, that it seems to have been temporary.  Maybe “on earth, peace to men on whom his favor rests” included Jesus’ own family.  

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Judge for yourselves

It was a wonderful time.  

My family, all 17 of us, were able to be together this Thanksgiving at a rented house on Kentucky's Lake Cumberland.  All nine grandsons (That's right.  NINE grandsons, ZERO granddaughters) played together well.  This is no small feat as five of them are aged 3 and under.  

My brother-in-law, the amazing Mike, made all of the Thanksgiving dinner and dessert with the exception of my sister-in-law Vivien's delicious cheesecake.  Love those guys who do the culinary school thing!  He was even incredibly successful making tur-duck-en despite the fact of not having any butcher's string to hold it all together.  I'd never had tur-duck-en before.  Chicken wrapped in duck wrapped in turkey with stuffing in there all over the place.  FABULOUS!  Highly recommended.


Friday morning Vivien, assisted by Clinton and Mike, made a huge breakfast.  Viv also made spaghetti for Wednesday night and a wonderful chicken casserole on Friday night, using up the leftovers.  Somehow all three of us McClelland kids managed to find spouses who enjoy cooking.  We're still trying to find the down side to that one...   Lorie, Bill and I are definitely loving it.  Mom and I have gladly volunteered for permanent clean-up detail.


And, yes, I have the results of my Fit By Forty challenge to myself.  Vivien, a former model, assisted me in my "pose" while photographer Clinton added a few "Work it, baby, work it"s in his best LA accent.  


So, thanks to Joline and Weight Watchers, I came to Thanksgiving in my khakis.  The khakis even stayed on my body for the entire evening.  Mission Accomplished!  Whoo-hoo!  Jumping Jacks for Joy!



On Monday I'm officially back on the treadmill.  3 great cooks x 3 full days x a plethora of amazing food = the need to burn some major calories before they take up permanent residence again. 


Weight Watchers was incredibly helpful in meal planning, and having a milestone birthday as a deadline was a major motivation, but the most important factor in my success has been the accountability my friend Joline.  I would probably have skipped several (okay, many) workouts had I not loathed the thought of emailing her my failure report.  I hope our mutual accountability society continues.  You up for it, Jo? 


Now if I can continue with these changes, I may be able to stay in my khakis for the foreseeable future.  And who knows, I may get to wear them to our next Thanksgiving celebration.    :)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Fit By Forty x Seven

It's been one week since I began my "Fit By Forty" quest to lose the weight I've put on in order to fit into my khakis by Thanksgiving/my 40th birthday.  Several factors have been in play over this time period.

Thanks to my friend Joline, talented author of the CuppaJo blog and completer of a half-marathon, I am for the first time ever working out with a buddy.  Um.  Well.  Sort of.  Joline lives 9 hours away from me in Pennsylvania.  That's 550 miles according to Mapquest.  She contacted me after my last post and we became accountability partners, encouraging each other in our workouts via email.  I've always been a loner in this area, but I must say it is working GREAT for me!  You'll have to check out Joline's blog to see how it's working for her.   http://thecuppajo.blogspot.com/2009/11/buddy-system.html

Another factor is I've been cooking for 3 hungry farmers this week.  When I take them lunch I also take Nathan with me and feed him while the guys eat.  I can't feed him and myself at the same time so I usually eat before I go.  Lately it's been something meal-replacement-bar-ish.  Makes it much easier to plan Weight Watcher points that way and I'm too busy right now to think much about sneaking food later.  Protein water and coffee are helping to curb my appetite, so for this week at least I'm able to really watch what I eat. 



Haven't tried on the khakis but the scale is showing me some encouraging numbers.  The true test, other than the khakis, will be what the scale at the doctor's office says.  My annual physical exam is scheduled later this week.  Believe me, I'm not excited, but it must be done.  We'll see how much The Dreaded Doctor's Office Scale affects my mood and thus my commitment to my program.


Good thing Joline's got Jillian Michaels kicking her butt these days.  Actually, I think Jillian is shredding her butt...either way, I'm sure she'll pass that butt-kicking along to me and project me right out of my slump.  Hurray for buddies!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Fit By Forty

It took a while, but it has happened.

In general I am pretty good about watching what I eat.  Lately though I've been watching what I eat go in my mouth, down to my lower half and expanding.  Two weeks ago when I was running late for church I went to put on my favorite khakis and I could not get them on.  

I was HACKED.  At myself.  I knew I'd been really careless and have noticed my pants getting tighter, but this was the first time this fall I'd tried to wear these particular pants.  Apparently I hit the breaking point.  

For those of you who know me, just stop with the "Wah wah wah you're so little you don't have anything to worry about blah blah blah."  Here is the thing:  It doesn't matter what size you are.  If you gain enough weight that you don't fit your clothes,  you have a problem.  And while I do have some yoga pants, I do not want to have to wear them all the time.


I rather like my wardrobe.  It has taken me several years and a substantial investment to build it to this point.  I FLAT OUT REFUSE to let myself go to the point that I have to start over from scratch.  I busted my tail (literally) to get back into my clothes after Nathan was born.  Gaining a few pounds is one thing.  Not fitting your clothes is quite another.


As an added bonus, I will turn the big 4-0 on November 25, the day before Thanksgiving.  

I refuse to feel "fat and forty."  I refuse to have my clothing options limited by my own poor choices and lack of will power.  I refuse to buy another wardrobe.  I refuse to loathe seeing myself in a mirror.  I refuse to be unhealthy.  I refuse to allow the Enemy to have any little niche to poke his nose in and cause me trouble.  I refuse.  I refuse.  I REFUSE!!!


I have just under three weeks to get my rear in gear to meet my goal and fit into my khakis.  This is an attainable goal.  I am working my plan.


And as I know that at the age of forty it gets REALLY hard to keep weight off, I intend to continue to make changes in my lifestyle.  For a while now I have been slowly making small improvements in our eating habits and will continue to do so.  

The biggest obstacle is making exercise a priority.  But, even fifteen minutes a day can help.  As Flylady says, "You can do anything for fifteen minutes."  The near-miraculous transformation of my previously cluttered basement is proof of that.


I intend to have a little less "junk in my trunk" in three weeks.  I intend to wear my khakis to Thanksgiving dinner.



Oh, and uh, I intend to ask you to please pray for me.

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Murky World of My Thought Process

Yesterday I completed the household chore I like the least -- vacuuming, sweeping and mopping the floors.  I would rather do just about anything else, including go to the dentist, than clean floors.  

I got to wondering as I cleaned...I have heard that there are trees and grass in Heaven.  I love trees and grass.  But as trees and grass grow in dirt, does that mean there is also dirt in Heaven?  When I go inside my "mansion in glory" am I going to take dirt in with me?  Am I going to have to clean floors in Heaven?  FOR ETERNITY?  

I mean,  I think we will have jobs in Heaven, but it will be something we LIKE to do, right?  I'll get to socialize and make everyone laugh, right?  There will be other tasks God would have me do that I'm perfect for, right?  I won't have to spend eternity cleaning floors...right?  Right?  Someone please tell me I'm right...

Okay.  Wig-out time is over.  I'm okay.  If God wants me to clean floors,  I guess I'll enjoy it, right?  

Right?  :)

 

Monday, October 19, 2009

2 things

This will be quick, as I only have a moment before laundry/Nathan/farming/lunch chaos begins:

I have wondered for a looooonnnnngggg time about the words at the end of some of the blogs I follow.  They are like little guidance words for your posts, like if I write about kayaking, at the bottom it would say "kayaking" and then anyone could click on that to find what else I've written about kayaking.

Finally figured it out (it's good to ASK for help) and updated my past blogs with this Labels feature.  I know.  Sometimes I amaze even myself with my sheer lack of tech savvy.  It may slow me down, but it's not stopping me!

Secondly, and completely unrelated in any way, I am now okay with giving away my maternity clothes and Nathan's baby clothes.  What is it about telling others of your concerns and troubles that frees you from them?  I am learning more and more about the power of the spoken word every day.  Hope to post more on that at a later date...

Be blessed today!  :)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Holding On

Flylady.net has been, and continues to be, a huge help to me.  This wonderful lady and her team are revolutionizing my life by helping me declutter and organize.  My basement looks better than it has since we moved into this house 9 years ago, and my cabinets and closets, papers and piles, are slowly but surely coming into line.  Babysteps rule!

I have pitched and/or given away literally dozens of large trash bags full of stuff.  If I don't use it, need it or love it, it's gone.  Outta here.  Later, gator.  Several local organizations are benefiting from this process, and I am overjoyed to bless others with these items. 


However, there are a few things I am struggling with getting rid of.   I'm having a real hard time parting with my maternity clothes.  And Nathan's baby clothes.  I know for certain that neither of us will use them again, but I can't bring myself to let them go. I've happily loaned them out to others, but there's just something about the permanence of giving them away that so far has made me hesitate.


I do know that I will get there, that one day (hopefully) soon I WILL HAVE HAD IT and I will quickly grab them and take them to our local crisis pregnancy center...just not yet. 

I'm saddened that this seems so difficult for me.  I understand about emotional attachement and what not and I know I will be okay with it eventually, but it makes me wonder...


What other things in my life do not work for me, do I no longer need, and do I not love, that I still stubbornly refuse to throw away?  What habits, attitudes, agreements am I harboring like fugitives in the basement of my spirit?  


Who'd a thunk that decluttering the basement would have such an impact on the clutter in my soul?




Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The What of the Lord is my What?

     They looked at me like I had lost my mind.  But then, they usually look at me like I've lost my mind. 

     I'd been wrestling around with it for a week or so.  I hadn't had any real time I could sit down and contemplate, so I asked my friends one night for their answers:  "Okay," I said. "' The joy of the Lord is my strength.'  Why?"  Pause.  Pause.  Deer-in-the-headlights.  I explained further.


     What I don't really get is the Joy part.  Why not The Hope of the Lord is my Strength?  Or The Love of the Lord?  Or The Peace?  Or The Strength?  Why The Joy?  
     And why is the Joy of the Lord Strength?  What is so strong about joy?


     AND, is that even IN the Bible, or is it just a nice phrase like "This too shall pass?"  

     While I found their answers to be very insightful, I still wasn't completely satisfied.  

     I found the verse way back in the eighth chapter of Nehemiah.  The Exiles had returned to Israel, rebuilt the wall around Jerusalem and settled into towns.  Everyone who could understand, men and women, came to listen to Ezra the priest read aloud the Law of Moses.  The people stood up for the entire 5-6 hours it took him to read.  Ezra praised the Lord, the people worshiped and the Levites explained what he was reading.  The people wept as they listened.  

     Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared.  This day is sacred to our Lord.  Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (v10)  Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them. (v12)


     So the Israelites celebrated with joy because they now knew and understood who they were and what they needed to do to walk with God.  They were joyful in their newly found knowledge and their restored relationship.

     But is that The Joy of the Lord?


     God IS His Word.  As the people listened to the Word, understood the Word, and responded to the Word, they were responding to God Himself.  Turning their hearts to Him.  Finally, after 70 years in exile, they were broken and repentant.  Nothing brings God more joy than when we come back to him in repentance.  God was joyful that His relationship with His people had been restored.  He could again fulfill the promises He had made to the Patriarchs and make them into a great nation that would bless the world.  His will could finally be done.


     But what about the strength part?  After standing up from daybreak until noon, with their brains on overload and their hearts heavy, the Israelites were surely exhausted at the very least. Then they were told to go feast and quit crying.  Celebrate!  Grab a bite!  Sit down and relax!   As they did, you can imagine what that must have done for their bodies, minds and spirits.  
      So, for me anyway, I'm thinking that The Lord's Joy is me internalizing His word and repenting of my sin, thus restoring my relationship with Him.  It is my Strength because He, in His mercy and grace, calls me to the feast of restoration, in great anticipation of fulfilling His purposes for me and through me.  

     At least that's where I am with it all right now.  More insights could be forthcoming...

     Do YOU have any thoughts?  I'd love to hear them.

   

Friday, September 4, 2009

Grace and Mercy, Mercy and Grace

Mercy pays my debt and brings my account back to zero.
Grace deposits above and beyond what I deserve.
Mercy is when the Father ran out to the Prodigal and embraced him, welcoming home the son.
Grace killed the fatted calf and brought the robe and ring, restoring him as an heir.




Friday, August 28, 2009

Snipets

Some random thoughts that probably don't belong together, but it's my blog, and I'll put them together if I want to. :)

The spoken word is extremely powerful. In the beginning was the Word...(John 1:14)
There is life and death in the power of the tongue. (Prov 18:21) If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart God raised Him from the dead you will be saved.(Rom 10:9)
Why isn't it enough just to believe in your heart? Why do we have to say it out loud, too? One reason I heard lately comes from John Eldredge: The enemy cannot read your mind. Only God knows what you are thinking.
If you want the enemy off your back, tell him so! Out loud! The louder, the better, although whispering does seem to work.

Which came first: the cultural attitude of entitlement or the fact that we do not require our children to say "please" and "thank you" anymore?

The wages of sin is death (Rom 6:23) does not necessarily mean your body will be in a coffin momentarily. It might be the death of a relationship. The death of a dream. The death of a ministry. Of integrity. Of opportunity. Of respect.
(major paraphrase of Beth Moore)
It also might not be immediate, but slow and painful. And death is pretty hard to come back from.
Of course, in the great wisdom of The Princess Bride, "There is a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive." If you're still breathing, you (and your situation) are only mostly dead. God can bring anything back to life.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Processing...processing...

It's amazing to me how God sets things in your life at the perfect time, in the perfect way, for the perfect effect.
You may have read about my kayaking adventure. How utterly taken I was in the moment, in nature, in the water (of all things). I was a bit disappointed in my description of the event, but well, it is what it is.
I've been processing everything over the last week. Why do I feel this way? What was it exactly that I connected with? God showed up with (of all things) a vocabulary lesson. Had this lesson come two weeks ago I doubt I would have made this connection. God's timing for God's effect.
John Eldredge of Ransomed Heart Ministries and "Wild at Heart" fame has been looking for some words to really capture the Christian life (besides Love, of course). The words he came up with are Epic and Intimate.
The grand, sweeping story arc and the tiniest detail of the manuscript. The resplendent mountain vistas and the delicacy of one flower. The dramatic annunciations of the orchestra and the gentle whisper of the guitar.
John is an Epic kind of guy. I find myself to be more affected by the Intimate. But as someone familiar with theatre, I understand the Epic also, and it certainly moves me as well.
Kayaking was not Epic for me. It was not Intimate, either. For me, being out on the kayak was a moment in which both Epic and Intimate joined together. Here, one plus one equals a lot more than two.
Kayaking feeds a place in my soul I did not know existed.
I love watching my sons growing up partly because I love to see who they are becoming. Watching them discover their strengths and weaknesses, interests and passions, is beyond thrilling. It seems to me that it's not that these aspects of their personalities are being created so much as uncovered, brought out and encouraged. I get to play a small part in helping my boys discover their layers.
Kayaking is one of my layers. Now that it has been uncovered, I plan to continue to bring it out and encourage it.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Trading in my Chevy for a...



It is always, in my experience, the very last thing you think you'd enjoy doing that brings you the most fulfillment.
"Are ya kidding me? Not only 'no' but 'heck no!' I'd NEVER do that!"
And God smiles.
I enjoy being God's comic relief. Most of the time.
Who else but God, the guy who parts seas, makes donkeys talk and sends His own Son to be crucified for me, could come up with this stuff?
For instance, I never thought I'd meet a farmer. Today I'm married to one and loving it. (Not just loving the farmer-who-was-not-a-farmer-when-I-married-him but also the lifestyle)
I never wanted to live in the country. A loft in the heart of downtown was all I needed. Today I believe the old adage that a day in the country is worth a month in town.
I grew up in the Chicago area and have never been an outdoorsy girl AT ALL. I don't do bugs, lots of sun, heat and humidity, and I especially do not do cold water. At heart, I'm more of a hot-tub kind of gal. But suddenly, my newest passion is...wait for it...kayaking.
There. I said it. It's true. Kayaking. As in, outdoors. On the water. In the sun. God smiles.
Earlier this week we went camping at a local campground that I originally thought I would not enjoy. Each campground has its personality, and this one is all about fishing.
We do not fish. Or at least we didn't when we first pooh-poohed the idea of camping there. God smiled.
Matthew went fishing earlier this summer with the church and got hooked (pun intended). Then we were invited by some friends to join them at this campground. Matthew was thrilled because Fred is a fisherman and could teach him a lot.
The camping area is right on the water surrounded by tall pine trees. The view across the lake is spectacular. Lovely to look at, but that's it. No way for me to be out in it. Not that I really wanted to be out in it. I did mention the cold water and the bugs, right? And as I don't fish, I didn't get to go on the boat with the guys. Poor me. I'll just stay at the campsite with Marcia and chat. I'm good at that.
A few spaces down from us was a family and some of their friends. They had their fishing boat and 2 kayaks with them. Marcia and I watched in fascination as the friends' 8 (or so) year old daughter got right in one and took off. Ah, to be young and fearless, we thought. We could never do that ourselves. We'd be tipped over before you could say, "Look at me go!"
But later we got talking with the wife and she explained how easy these sit-on-top kayaks were to use. Then, for real, she offered to let Marcia and I try them out.
I know. Yes, there are still nice people in the world, to even think of letting two strangers just take off in their kayaks. We looked at each other and it was a no-brainer. We put on life jackets and jumped (or gingerly stepped) right in.
We got the hang of turning and going forward and back very quickly and,boy, we were off. Our first voyage was to The Point where Matthew and Marcia's son Max were fishing. We thought they would freak out when they saw us. We didn't get quite the reaction we were looking for, but we pressed on.
It was truly amazing. Out there on the peaceful water. Feeling the oneness with nature. The stillness. The quiet. Well, quiet except for the two of us laughing and gawking at how much fun we were having. There were no motors to distract, just the simple dip of the paddles as we luxuriated in God's creation. We embraced the exhilarating freedom and peacefulness. Unlike anything I have ever experienced.
Of course, we had to go back and let Matthew and Max have a try, and they enjoyed it as well.
How many days until Christmas?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

What You've Been Missing

Yes, it has been a looonnnggg time since I've posted anything here. God has indeed been working in my life, but recently He's been addressing some very internal issues with me. Things I'm still processing. Things He is cleansing and things I'm still learning about. I may not even share these with you directly, but I hope and pray that you will see in me a deepening in closeness to Christ.
How's that for obscure?
Let me put it this way: I listen to the 1 Year Daily Audio Bible podcast every day. Brian Hardin, the founder and leader, sought the Lord for the community at the beginning of the year and the Lord gave him the phrase, "Complete and Release" as sort of the theme for the year. Um, wait, it might be "Release and Complete..." Ah, well, either way, it works.
In my mind I thought God was speaking of responsibilities. Complete that project/ministry/season of life and release it, embrace freedom from it and move into the new thing God has in store.
Not so for me.
For me it's more internal than external. It seems to mean getting the full picture on issues I've been dealing with for a while and getting rid of them.
The process hasn't been so much painful for me as eye-opening. "Oh, okay, now I get it. Yeah, that needs to go. How do I do that? Oh, I see. Let's do that, God. Thanks!" As a bonus, the freedom is coming, and I must say, it is fabulous.
Thankfully, the process continues.
A side benefit to all this spiritual cleansing is that it is making its way outward. Tomorrow we should finish purging Matthew's room and hopefully move on to the basement.
I don't think this is exactly what God had in mind when He started this whole process, but it seems to be making the trash man happy. :)

Friday, July 10, 2009

American Idol

Independence Day is usually a good time. Freedom. Fireworks. Frankfurters. Family & Friends. Fun. A time to celebrate our country, a nation with a grand and glorious history -- 233 years of independence, growth and leadership. An unparalleled example of democracy built on Christian principles. There has never been anything like it.
I am proud to be an American. This partly explains why, this year, July 4 has been bittersweet for me.
George Washington said, "It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." Nearly every other founding father made statements reflecting this same belief. I do not have the space to print them all here, but their remarks are compelling.
As anyone who does not live under a rock can attest, our nation has been making steady progress further and further from our heritage. We are abandoning the principles that made us a great nation faster than high-speed internet service.
But it is not only the increasing separation of the State from God that upsets me. I'm upset by the fact that it upsets me.
"What?" you ask.
The United States of America has been an idol in my life.
"Okay...um...what?"
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines an idol as
a representation or symbol of an object of worship : a false god : an object of extreme devotion.
Anything, or anyone, that I turn to other than God is an idol.
I confess that I have counted on the Constitution and our body of laws to save me. I have looked to our government and military to protect me from attacks by enemies. I have placed my hope in the stability of our form of government, of checks and balances and majority rule.
That foundation is no longer a surety. I have been examining the extent to which I place my trust in my nation and its leaders.
I have looked to my country to provide things only God can give. While I care deeply and am concerned about the direction our country is headed, I must not let it become a make-or-break issue for my life. I must count on God to provide what I need for life, no matter what the economy, judicial system or resident of the Oval Office is doing.
Don't misunderstand me. I would rather live in the United States of America than any other country in the world. In spite of all its flaws it is still, today, the best country on earth.
But I need to remind myself that my hope is in Christ, not the Constitution. I need to bury my head in the Bible and not the Bill of Rights. I need to seek comfort and protection in God's loving embrace and not in the folds of the American flag. I need to no longer put my faith in my government but in my God.
Turn with me from the comfort our standard of living affords to the peace that transcends all understanding. Phil 4:7 Turn from the pursuit of happiness and pursue the Creator of every good and perfect gift. James 1:17 America cannot offer the abundant life. Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
I offer my respect and loyalty to my country. I offer my love and my life to my Lord.


Monday, June 22, 2009

Growth Chart

I became the temporary secretary at Central Christian Church when I was 17. It was the summer after graduating high school and before starting college. Basically they needed someone who was a Christian, could type and answer the phone, and wouldn't need the job in the fall when the new secretary arrived. I fit the bill.
I was not the only employee of the church who was brand new that summer. Brett was our straight-out-of-seminary Youth Minister. This was my first job as a secretary and his first job as a minister.
Intelligent guy that he is, it took him no time at all to figure out that I was one of the most clueless individuals on the planet.
On top of that, I had only been a Christian for a year and a half and hadn't matured in my faith as much as I should have. The only explanation for me getting (and keeping) the job was that it was a God thing. Truthfully.
A few years later I got married and moved away. Brett went on to plant a church that was, and continues to be, one of the fastest-growing congregations in our brotherhood.
Fast forward about 18 years. Clinton and I were attending the North American Christian Convention in Louisville, Kentucky. In the program of events we happened to spot Brett's name and I realized he must be at the convention. Of course, thousands of others were there as well. It would NOT be an easy task to find him out of the blue. Undaunted, I told God that it would be fun to see him, even for a second, if He could arrange that for me.
From the program I knew Brett was on a committee that was meeting in a certain room at a certain time. Clinton and I tried to find the room before the meeting adjourned but never found it. While standing in the general vicinity of where we thought he might come through, with hundreds of people milling around and on their way to the opening session, I prayed and turned around.
"Somehow" I knew that Brett had already passed me and was walking away. "Somehow" I knew that the man in khakis and yellow polo was him. I ran after and shouted his name. He stopped and turned around. I will never forget the look on his face when he recognized me. To this day the memory of it makes me smile.
His gaping mouth, wide eyes and raised eyebrows told me that I was one of the last people he expected to run into at an event like the North American. It was a look that said, "YOU?! HERE?!" Now I don't often get to mess with people's heads, but I got him good that time. After he remembered how to talk we had a nice conversation.
In that moment I realized the milestone. Here was a man who knew me as a hapless baby Christian. Now he was seeing me all grown up. And for him, the simple fact of my presence at the conference meant that I had grown in the Lord and was still walking with Him. Otherwise, why would I have been there?
Sometimes it takes a "chance" meeting to help you realize that you have, in fact, grown and changed. And, at the same time, you can catch a glimpse of how far you still have to go. You see, in those few minutes I got to see a bit of how Brett had grown up over the years as well.
I just hope Brett isn't surprised to see me when we get to Heaven. :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Whose War? Mine? Now wait a minute...

Spiritual warfare isn't something I'm extremely familiar with, but it has been a theme in my life over the last few weeks. I know that we have an Enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy, the Devil who prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour.

So my question is, what do I do? How do I win this battle? Three verses have stood out to me in how best to fight our Enemy. The first is from Ephesians 6:10-17.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Lessons from here: 1. Remember who the enemy is. My enemy is not anyone I can see with my eyes. Other Christians are not my enemy. Even non-believers who are violently against God are not my enemy. Satan and his minions are.
2. Use God's power, not mine. Not "be strong in myself", but strong in the Lord. Not "be strong in my mighty power" but strong in His. If I ask Him, He will help me. And He will help you.
3. The armor of God, if you'll notice, is nearly all based on defense. The only weapon is the Sword of the Spirit.
4. Why do we put on the armor? So we can STAND FIRM, STAND OUR GROUND. Not run around looking for a fight, but ready to stand when confronted with one.

The next is from James 4:7, "Submit therefore to God. Resist the Devil and he will flee from you." First we whole-heartedly offer ourselves to God. After that, we are not to stand there quivering in fear. We are not to let the Devil come up and push us over with his foul breath. We are to resist. This is an active stance. We use truth, righteousness, gospel, faith, our salvation and God's word against his attacks. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by Satan, this is EXACTLY what He did. (Matthew 4)

And finally, my favorite of these verses. Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still." Moses said this to Israel as they watched all of Pharaoh's army ready to attack and kill them at the Red Sea.
If Israel had turned and fought the army in their own strength we would not be having this conversation. But what did they do? They stood still and watched God send a pillar of fire to halt the army and open the Red Sea for them to walk across. They waited and God showed up in one of the most dramatic encounters in the history of the world.

Lesson from this: I AM NOT ALONE IN THE BATTLE! WHOO-HOO! In fact, I'm not the one actually fighting the battle! If I let God fight the rulers, authorities and powers of the dark world and just be still, standing firm and resisting, the battle will be won! And it will be a victory that no one can deny came by the hand of God. I love it!

One more note: I've learned that Satan cannot read our minds! Only God can do that. Satan does NOT have that power! When Jesus cast out demons he didn't "think" them gone, he spoke to them. Out loud. For all to hear. Everyone thought He was a nut case UNTIL they saw the results. It's when we allow God's strength, God's plan, God's timing and God's truth to fight the battle that we can be still. We can be calm, cool and collected in the midst of the most devastating circumstances. Stand firm, stand your ground, resist, and be still as God fights for you.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Boxes for Ruth, Blessings for Me

It was the summer of 2006. I pulled my Explorer into the Walmart parking lot and found a decent parking space. As I breezily meandered towards the store I noticed that Ruth's car was parked in the space next to mine.
Ruth was
a long time member of the church I attend, a retired widow with grown children whom God was calling to the mission field. She was selling her house and getting ready to store a few things before she left.
As I was checking out I saw Ruth finishing up at her own check out line. She had purchased several extra-large Rubbermaid storage boxes. We walked out together, chatting about how much longer she had until she left and where she planned to live when she returned.
We arrived at our vehicles and began to unload. As I prepared to close the back hatch I could see Ruth struggling to get the boxes into her back seat. There was absolutely no way those things were going in there. We tried the trunk. Same story.
That's when I realized that I was part of the plan. We loaded the boxes into the back of the Explorer and I followed her home. Free delivery!
I'm sure Ruth has completely forgotten that story by now, but I doubt I ever will. You see, she got "the stuff" but I got the blessing.
As someone who writes, I can appreciate a well-crafted storyline. God sure handed me a doozy that day.
I can only imagine that His thought process went something like this: "Ruth is going to buy storage boxes that won't fit in her car. I need someone with a bigger vehicle to take those for her. Aha! Debbie needs to go to Walmart this afternoon. Bingo! I'll arrange for them to park right next to each other, for them to finish checking out at the same exact time, and for Debbie to not be in a hurry. (smiles to Himself) That part alone will be a miracle! Debbie is ALWAYS running late and in a hurry to get somewhere. But I think I'll use her today. She can be part of my plan to show Ruth how much I love her and how I'm taking care of her."
There are so many things I love about this story. I love that even though I was early (for me), I was exactly right on time. I love that God used me (or at least my car) to help someone who needed it. But my favorite part is that before Ruth ever knew she had a need, God had filled it.
And many, many times since that day I have gone back to this story to remind myself that God does the same for me.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Lesson from a Sunny day

I have to laugh.
One of our outdoor cats, Sunny, is the most lackadaisically fearless cat I've ever seen. Our dog barks and runs at him and he doesn't even begin to flinch. "Eh, no big deal." A car's tire nearly clips his hind leg off and he doesn't even begin to pick up his pace. "Eh, I've been closer. I'll just lay down right here and bask in the sun."
And then there's my favorite. His non-reaction to the gray and white bird that has migrated back to our little patch of acreage.
I know it is the same bird because it behaves the same way it has the last 3 years. Any time Sunny is walking around in the yard north of the house, this bird dive bombs him. From the maple tree it swoops down to just above Sunny's head, over towards the sweet gum tree and back again, chattering at him the entire time. Sunny just keeps walking, oblivious to the bird's rantings and ravings.
I don't know what grievous sin Sunny committed against this bird (well, I have an idea, but I really do not want confirmation), but it certainly remembers Sunny and refuses to forgive him.
I need to take a lesson from my cat. You see, whenever Satan dive bombs me, chattering at me about the sins I've committed, I need to walk on by as nonchalantly as Sunny does. "Oh, yeah, I've been forgiven for that. Move along..." Don't even give The Accuser the time of day off the sundial.
Sunny doesn't let his past ruin his present, and neither should I.
Maybe I'll go bask in The Son.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I KNOW he didn't learn this from me...

So Tuesday morning Nathan and I were in my bedroom. He had his sippy cup of milk and accidentally dropped it on the tile in front of the fireplace. Several drops of milk spilled out onto the tile. I went to get something to clean it up, and when I came back in I found him on his knees in front of the fireplace. He was running his hand back and forth across the milk spill, saying "I kyean, I kyean."
I love when they start to "help" you.
He also does laundry. Apparently, I don't fold the clothes correctly as they come out of the dryer so he "refolds" them for me. He's such a sweetie. :)
Kind of like when I try to "help" God. I'll see a "mess" somewhere and think to myself, "I can help with this." With the best of intentions,
I'll run my hands through the mess and shout, "I kyean, I kyean" and really, only make matters worse. If only I would ALWAYS remember to ASK Him if He would like my help before I just jump right in. If only I would also stop and listen for His answer...
Unfortunately, I'm not nearly as cute as Nathan is when I try to help.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Wow! It has been a VERY long time since I've posted on here! I'll try not to go that long anymore. The problem is that I've been using all my spare time (and creativity) writing a skit and a workshop for a Ladies' Retreat this coming weekend. I am VERY excited to have this opportunity to use some of the skills/gifts I have to His glory.
God has called me to speak. My "career" in this is not where I thought it would be by now, but that has more to do with A) my lack of vision and tenacity and 2) the fact that my idea of being a speaker and God's idea of me being a speaker seem to be 2 totally different things. I do have MANY other responsibilities in my life, responsibilities that only I can fulfill. What He is preparing me for I cannot see right now, but He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a future and a hope. (Jer 29:11)
His idea of prospering me may have nothing to do with speaking, or it might have everything to do with it. And I'm sure our definitions of "prospering" differ as well. Only He knows. And only He knows how much or how little speaking He wants me to do. But I plan to be ready, willing and able when the opportunities come. Anything beyond that is in His hands.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Pearls

I have had a special place in my heart for pearls for as long as I can remember. My mother, to this day, wears a ring she received from her parents for her high school graduation, with two pearls set in gold. One of my earliest memories is admiring this ring. I received a pearl ring from my parents for my graduation, but I kept losing the pearls and so now I have it in a special box for safe keeping. I have various strands of pearls, both real and imitation, that I have acquired over the years, various lengths and various diameters for various occasions.
I also have a sensitivity to metal, and so it bothers my skin to wear most jewelry. Gold and silver chains itch my neck, and I may never get to wear earrings again. Even watchbands tend to bother me. But pearls, ah, I can wear pearls all the livelong day. And thanks to Coco Chanel, pearls are classic and still contemporary. Nothing says luxury to me like a long strand of pearls draped around a woman's neck...
But it wasn't until today that I realized their symbolism.
A pearl is formed when a foreign body embeds itself inside an oyster. The oyster coats the particle with a natural secretion, and over time the many layers of this coating become the beautiful gem. A thing of beauty with pain at its core.
How many "foreign bodies" have embedded themselves in my life? How many times have I cursed the pain, or asked God to take it away, or simply whined, "Why me?" But then I (usually, eventually) quit whining and walk through the pain, praying I learn the lessons I need to learn. Day by day, prayer by prayer, layer by layer, He transforms my pain into something beautiful. Maybe that beauty is character. Maybe it is a softened heart. Maybe it is knowledge. Very likely it is something that resembles... my favorite jewelry.
I'll never see pearls in the same way again.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

5 Loaves + 2 Fish = 20 Years of Theater

I am five loaves and two fish.
It all started sophomore year of high school. The friends I walked home with decided to join the Props Crew in the Theater Department at our high school. I didn't really want to walk home by myself every day, and so I joined them. The show in production was "Guys and Dolls." Actors, singers, dancers, makeup, lighting, sets, costumes, drops...all was exciting and new to me.
I was thrilled that as a new member of the backstage crews I was assigned a big and important job. I got to move The Trash Can during a scene change. Ah, yes, I remember it well. It was a high stakes, high pressure situation.
Well, okay, so I exaggerate. After all, any idiot can move a trash can out of the way. Even so, somehow d
uring one rehearsal I managed to forget it. After rehearsal Erika, one of the dancers, made it clear to me (very nicely) that if I didn't move the trash can, she couldn't do her flip onto the stage and the next scene could not start. This information switched on the light bulb in my head.
I realized that I had the opportunity to contribute to the success or failure of this show. I didn't have to be tall, blonde, pretty, smart, rich, funny, talented or athletic to perform this task. This was a niche I could fill. I could be part of something fun, exciting and creative.
I was also completely fascinated by the whole dynamic behind the production. So many people came together, with different backgrounds and ideas and reasons to be there, and created something that lived, breathed, and affected people. This wasn't a painting you looked at on a wall -- this was living art. Every single performance was unique and yet the same. Each person had their own job to do in time, each thread woven purposefully in the tapestry, line by line, scene by scene. It was incredibly exciting to me. And I got to be a tiny thread... This was the birth of the first passion in my life.
Back then it didn't occur to me that I would do anything but work on a crew of some sort, possibly even be Stage Manager. I did get to stage manage a few shows later in high school, after we moved from my beloved Chicago suburb to the DC suburbs. My plan in college was to continue and work backstage in professional theater. Nothing glamorous, nothing grand, but part of something I loved. God, however, had other plans.
God has taken my very small measure of talent and knowledge, my five loaves and two fish, and multiplied them in ways I could never have imagined back then. I have had the privilege of being a part of some wonderful and amazing productions over the past 20 some years after high school. I have been able to stage manage, perform, even write and direct theatrical productions. The writing especially is something that was never even on the radar. Granted, none of the shows have been what anyone would call professional. They have nearly all been church related, but God has given me the opportunity to use my tiny bit of knowledge and talent to further His Kingdom in this way. And each time I am presented with the opportunity to fill this niche in this tiny corner of the Kingdom, I am honored and humbled to play my part.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Color(s) of Love -- YOU Decide

A friend of mine posted a question: What color is love? I responded that I didn't think you could limit it to only one color. Later I elaborated on that theory:
When you let each other down love is blue. When you make each other smile it is yellow. When you're trudging together through the muck of life it is brown. When you honor each other it is a royal purple. During the many boring parts it is gray. When you are growing closer to each other love is green. Joyful times are a bright pink. When tempers flare love is orange. Love that is a decision to love as God loves us is white. Times of intense sadness are black. And red is, well, you can fill in your own blank. ;)

Agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear what you think.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

A Change in Walking Habits

I would like to share with you something that has changed my life, continues to change my life, and if he sticks with it, will also change the life of my oldest son, Matthew.
In early May of 2008 I had a brainstorm. I had been having trouble finding time to walk on the treadmill and read my bible. I decided that if I could do both at the same time, I could probably work these into my life. I had the treadmill already. All I needed was an ipod or some other mp3 player and a copy of the bible in that format.
A couple of days later I was on the phone with my mother. I told her my brilliant idea and she mentioned that her former employer had given her (and everyone else) an ipod that had not been out of the box in the year and a half she'd had it. She offered it to me and I jumped on the offer.
After a quick tutorial on this new (to me) technology, Clinton led me to iTunes to find a daily bible reading. He checked out a couple for me and then showed me the Daily Audio Bible by Brian Hardin. Brian had a nice voice and played serene background music interspersed with nature sounds. I thought this would do very nicely.
So in late May I began listening to the Daily Audio Bible while walking on the treadmill. The 20-30 minute podcasts work in very well with my workout schedule. On days that I don't walk I listen as I can that day. I could have gone back to the January podcasts and played catch up, but I know I would have become discouraged and eventually quit, so I just picked up where Brian was and continued on.
I must admit that the treadmill walking has been, especially lately, VERY hit and miss. I have, however, seen my christian walk transforming with the podcasts, and have completed 2008 on time. I'm proud of myself for that! Yeah, me! And now with the new year (and an extra 5 lbs), I plan to get back on the treadmill and listen to the entire bible this year.
Brian and his crew have also added the Daily Audio Proverb (once a month through the book of Proverbs), the Daily Audio Bible in Spanish and in Hindi, and most importantly to me, the Daily Audio Bible for Kids. Brian's daughter, China, reads from the New Testament, and they will complete the NT 4 times in a year. It takes about 15 minutes a day. Matthew just finished listening to his first podcast and really enjoyed it.
I get no money or any other "promotional considerations" for this blogpost. I simply wanted to share with you this wonderful thing that I've found and has made a huge difference in my life. I won't bore you with any more details than that for now, but I do pray that you will see the evidence of this in my life and in my blogposts.
Check it out for yourself at dailyaudiobible.com, or just search for One Year Daily Bible or Brian Hardin on iTunes.
Even if you do nothing at all with this information, be blessed in 2009!
And thanks for reading. :)