It's a Woman's Perogative to Change Her Mind

For years now, I've pictured it.  

Heaven.  The Pearly Gates.  Jesus welcoming me in and saying, "Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant."

I've thought for decades that those are the words I want to hear when I get there.  He'll smile, speak those words and I will mutter under my breath "Yes!  I've loved and served my Lord with my whole heart, mind, soul and strength and now I get to spend ETERNITY with HIM!  Whoo-hoo!"

But recently I've started to change my mind.

Not about where I spend eternity or with whom, but what I want Him to say to me when I get there.

I mean, yes, I still want to hear the Good and Faithful Servant part, but now I want more.

Call me selfish.  

In a previous post I briefly touched on the  progression of relationship with Jesus, per John & Stasi Eldredge in their book "Captivating."

You might recall that the Scriptures use a number of metaphors to describe our relationship with God.  We are portrayed as clay, and he is the potter.  We are sheep, and he the shepherd.  Each metaphor is beautiful and speaks to the various seasons of our spiritual lives and to the various aspects of God's heart toward us.  But have you notice they ascend in a stunning way?  From potter and his clay to a shepherd and his sheep, there is a marked difference in intimacy, in the way they relate.  It gets even better.  From master and servant to father and child, there is a wonderful progression into greater intimacy.  It grows more beautiful and rich when he calls us his friends.  But what is most breathtaking is when God says he is our Lover (our Bridegroom, our Fiance'), and we his bride.  That is the pinnacle, the goal of our redemption (used in the last chapter of the Bible, when Christ returns for his bride) and the most intimate and romantic of all.    p. 114

So that's the thing.  I don't want to be "just" a servant.   While I am honored at the privilege, I don't want to stop there.  I don't even want to settle for being His friend, although that is totally crazy to think about in itself. (Me?  His FRIEND?  Are you kidding?  Mind-boggling!) 

This is what I long to hear Him say to me,

My lover spoke and said to me,

     "Get up, my darling;

     let's go away, my beautiful one.

Look, the winter is past;

     the rains are over and gone.

Blossoms appear through all the land.

     The time has come to sing;

     the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

There are young figs on the fig trees,

     and the blossoms on the vines smell sweet.

Get up, my darling;

     let's go away, my beautiful one."

                             Song of Solomon 2:10-13 NCV

I don't deserve it.  I don't understand it.  But somehow, by His love and grace, I am His Beloved.

You can be, too.

What would you like Him to say to you?

The Purple-eyed Monster, or Envy's Close Cousin

Okay, I guess I don't know for sure that Pride is purple-eyed, but I thought it sounded good.  You know, purple is the traditional color of royalty and when I am steeped in pride I consider my opinions to be more valid and important and reliable than God's and therefore I make myself out to be royalty versus the real royalty of the King of Kings... (Whoa.  Okay.  Stop.  Take a breath.  Inhale.  Exhale.  Better now.)    :)

It seems that God has more to teach me, using my "Envy lesson" from last week as a springboard . 

Webster's says Pride is a "high opinion of one's worth."  For me,  the connotation is that this worth is higher than everyone else's.  A prideful person feels that they are better than others, that their opinion is the correct one, the only one that matters in the end.

It's occurred to me recently that the opposite is also true.  Thinking that you are worse than everyone else is also pride.

"Okay, um, HUH?  What did you just say?"

I believe that when I am down on myself I am just as prideful as being "up" on myself. 

Whether my opinion of myself is for good or for bad, if it differs from God's opinion of me, it's wrong.  Moreover, it's sin.  Pride.

Romans 14:23 says, "Whatever is not from faith is sin."   Any time I trust or believe my own opinion over God's, I am in defiance of God.  Sin.

 

Now, we are also called to "think of ourselves with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given us." (Rom 12:3)  Complete honesty.  Total openness.  Based on GOD'S WORD, not on my own fickle feelings or whims of the world.

How does He see me?

As clay He is molding.  

More than that, as a sheep He is leading.  

More than that, as a servant He is charging.  

More than that, as a child He is teaching.  

More than that, as a friend He is confiding.

More than that, as The Beloved He is pursuing, wooing, loving. 

Hmmm.  I like that.  That sounds a whole lot better than what I have been thinking.

(progression of relationship courtesy of John Eldredge)