Lessons from the Red-Winged Blackbird

God and I have a special thing with red-winged blackbirds.  I love their bold markings and coloring, and I feel the slightest bit like a real bird watcher when I can point them out to my sons and other captive audience-type people.  I even downloaded an app so I could learn to recognize their calls, as well as the calls of other local birds.

God seems especially fond of speaking to me through them at Oil Belt Christian Camp’s Ladies’ Day weekends, where I am on the planning team.   One year, as I was driving to the camp to help with the prep, I was freaking out.  I was teaching a workshop and performing a skit and helping with decorations.  I’d spread myself a little thin.  As I turned down one of the country roads to reach the camp, there was a field of corn stubble on my left.  Perched on top of one of the corn stalks was a red-winged blackbird.  I drove very slowly down the road, and I watched as he flew a little way, landed on another stalk, waited for me to catch up, flew a bit more, landed on a stalk, waited for me again, all the way to the end of the field.  I felt like God was telling me He was there with me, that I should give my anxiety to Him and it would all work out fine (which it did).

A couple of years later I was heading up to camp, only this time I was feeling good about the skit and purposed to worship during the entire drive.  I saw one blackbird, then another, then two more.  I laughed and told God that now He was just showing off.  I spotted two more for a total of six red-winged blackbirds.  I was feeling loved on by God, and Ladies’ Day went very well that year. 

On the way home from that weekend I noticed a break in the clouds in the shape of a heart.  I remembered something John Eldredge had said about God loving on him by giving him hearts of all kinds—rocks, clouds, even animal poop.  I wanted to see the heart shape for as long as I could, so I would glance up and then quickly back to the mostly-deserted highway.  As the clouds were changing and the break disappearing, I looked back at the road in time to see a red-winged blackbird swoop down in front of my car!  OH NO!  I was just sure I hit him.  I felt TERRIBLE!  I had destroyed my special gift from God!  However, when I got home my car didn’t show any evidence that I had actually hit him.  I do hope God spared the bird from my distractedness.  

This year at Ladies’ Day my friend and fellow planner Mary rode to camp with me, and so instead of watching for blackbirds on the drive up, I gabbed with her.  I didn’t see any birds the whole work day or that evening.  The next day, I was the last gal on the planning team to leave the dorm.  As I approached the outside door I silently lamented that I hadn’t seen any red-winged blackbirds this time.  I had taken about three steps out of the door when it happened.  I didn’t see a red-winged blackbird, but I heard its call.  I smiled, praised God, and knew that the day was going to be wonderful.  God was at Ladies’ Day, working behind the scenes.

God has used these beautiful birds, and the simplicity of our encounters, to teach me some valuable truths.  The first year, He used the blackbird to show that He is always with me as well as ahead of me.  He is leading me, inviting me, and if I fall too far behind He will wait on me so we can continue together.

The next year He showed me that He is an extravagant God who loves to lavish gifts on His beloveds.  He also reminded me that, as Jesus healed each person in a different way, He speaks to each of His beloveds in a different way, intimately, to the farthest reaches of our hearts.  The way He speaks to John Eldredge is not the way He speaks to me, and it won’t be the way He speaks to you. 

This year He showed me that even though I may not see Him, I can and do hear Him.  This is opening all new doors for me, and is a process I am enjoying pursuing.  

I love that as our relationship continues to grow, I continue to experience Him in new ways. I can hardly wait until next year's Ladies' Day to discover all He has for me through the red-winged blackbird.  

It's a Woman's Perogative to Change Her Mind

For years now, I've pictured it.  

Heaven.  The Pearly Gates.  Jesus welcoming me in and saying, "Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant."

I've thought for decades that those are the words I want to hear when I get there.  He'll smile, speak those words and I will mutter under my breath "Yes!  I've loved and served my Lord with my whole heart, mind, soul and strength and now I get to spend ETERNITY with HIM!  Whoo-hoo!"

But recently I've started to change my mind.

Not about where I spend eternity or with whom, but what I want Him to say to me when I get there.

I mean, yes, I still want to hear the Good and Faithful Servant part, but now I want more.

Call me selfish.  

In a previous post I briefly touched on the  progression of relationship with Jesus, per John & Stasi Eldredge in their book "Captivating."

You might recall that the Scriptures use a number of metaphors to describe our relationship with God.  We are portrayed as clay, and he is the potter.  We are sheep, and he the shepherd.  Each metaphor is beautiful and speaks to the various seasons of our spiritual lives and to the various aspects of God's heart toward us.  But have you notice they ascend in a stunning way?  From potter and his clay to a shepherd and his sheep, there is a marked difference in intimacy, in the way they relate.  It gets even better.  From master and servant to father and child, there is a wonderful progression into greater intimacy.  It grows more beautiful and rich when he calls us his friends.  But what is most breathtaking is when God says he is our Lover (our Bridegroom, our Fiance'), and we his bride.  That is the pinnacle, the goal of our redemption (used in the last chapter of the Bible, when Christ returns for his bride) and the most intimate and romantic of all.    p. 114

So that's the thing.  I don't want to be "just" a servant.   While I am honored at the privilege, I don't want to stop there.  I don't even want to settle for being His friend, although that is totally crazy to think about in itself. (Me?  His FRIEND?  Are you kidding?  Mind-boggling!) 

This is what I long to hear Him say to me,

My lover spoke and said to me,

     "Get up, my darling;

     let's go away, my beautiful one.

Look, the winter is past;

     the rains are over and gone.

Blossoms appear through all the land.

     The time has come to sing;

     the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

There are young figs on the fig trees,

     and the blossoms on the vines smell sweet.

Get up, my darling;

     let's go away, my beautiful one."

                             Song of Solomon 2:10-13 NCV

I don't deserve it.  I don't understand it.  But somehow, by His love and grace, I am His Beloved.

You can be, too.

What would you like Him to say to you?

The Purple-eyed Monster, or Envy's Close Cousin

Okay, I guess I don't know for sure that Pride is purple-eyed, but I thought it sounded good.  You know, purple is the traditional color of royalty and when I am steeped in pride I consider my opinions to be more valid and important and reliable than God's and therefore I make myself out to be royalty versus the real royalty of the King of Kings... (Whoa.  Okay.  Stop.  Take a breath.  Inhale.  Exhale.  Better now.)    :)

It seems that God has more to teach me, using my "Envy lesson" from last week as a springboard . 

Webster's says Pride is a "high opinion of one's worth."  For me,  the connotation is that this worth is higher than everyone else's.  A prideful person feels that they are better than others, that their opinion is the correct one, the only one that matters in the end.

It's occurred to me recently that the opposite is also true.  Thinking that you are worse than everyone else is also pride.

"Okay, um, HUH?  What did you just say?"

I believe that when I am down on myself I am just as prideful as being "up" on myself. 

Whether my opinion of myself is for good or for bad, if it differs from God's opinion of me, it's wrong.  Moreover, it's sin.  Pride.

Romans 14:23 says, "Whatever is not from faith is sin."   Any time I trust or believe my own opinion over God's, I am in defiance of God.  Sin.

 

Now, we are also called to "think of ourselves with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given us." (Rom 12:3)  Complete honesty.  Total openness.  Based on GOD'S WORD, not on my own fickle feelings or whims of the world.

How does He see me?

As clay He is molding.  

More than that, as a sheep He is leading.  

More than that, as a servant He is charging.  

More than that, as a child He is teaching.  

More than that, as a friend He is confiding.

More than that, as The Beloved He is pursuing, wooing, loving. 

Hmmm.  I like that.  That sounds a whole lot better than what I have been thinking.

(progression of relationship courtesy of John Eldredge)

Processing...processing...

It's amazing to me how God sets things in your life at the perfect time, in the perfect way, for the perfect effect.
You may have read about my kayaking adventure. How utterly taken I was in the moment, in nature, in the water (of all things). I was a bit disappointed in my description of the event, but well, it is what it is.
I've been processing everything over the last week. Why do I feel this way? What was it exactly that I connected with? God showed up with (of all things) a vocabulary lesson. Had this lesson come two weeks ago I doubt I would have made this connection. God's timing for God's effect.
John Eldredge of Ransomed Heart Ministries and "Wild at Heart" fame has been looking for some words to really capture the Christian life (besides Love, of course). The words he came up with are Epic and Intimate.
The grand, sweeping story arc and the tiniest detail of the manuscript. The resplendent mountain vistas and the delicacy of one flower. The dramatic annunciations of the orchestra and the gentle whisper of the guitar.
John is an Epic kind of guy. I find myself to be more affected by the Intimate. But as someone familiar with theatre, I understand the Epic also, and it certainly moves me as well.
Kayaking was not Epic for me. It was not Intimate, either. For me, being out on the kayak was a moment in which both Epic and Intimate joined together. Here, one plus one equals a lot more than two.
Kayaking feeds a place in my soul I did not know existed.
I love watching my sons growing up partly because I love to see who they are becoming. Watching them discover their strengths and weaknesses, interests and passions, is beyond thrilling. It seems to me that it's not that these aspects of their personalities are being created so much as uncovered, brought out and encouraged. I get to play a small part in helping my boys discover their layers.
Kayaking is one of my layers. Now that it has been uncovered, I plan to continue to bring it out and encourage it.