Where did I park my Focus?

I purchased everything I needed.  Clinton helped me set up the decorations, videos and books.  I had the seat set up in the appropriate room.  I had prayed and prayed and prayed.  I even checked the Farmer's Almanac to be sure it was the best time.

And it was.

And it worked.

Mostly.

On Friday, April 9, I potty-trained Nathan using the book "Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day" by Teri Crane. I had planned to blog last week about how well the book worked for Nathan.

If you follow her plan, it can work.

If you only partially follow, you may have a major problem on your hands. 

Friday was okay.  Saturday started out shaky but he really was getting the hang of it that afternoon.  Sunday showed continued promise.

Monday came.  It all went down the tubes--literally and figuratively.

I had thought I would have at least another week before Clinton got into the field to begin planting.  I was wrong.  Oh, so wrong. 

Between meals and other farming chaos, final rehearsals for my Ladies' Day skit, Matthew's 3 track meets, trying to convince the family that it would all work out just fine if I left for two days, and just keeping my head above water with the house, I lost the battle. 

I had planned to have the whole week relatively free to be able to drop everything when needed to help continue Nathan's success.  The reality was that it was one of the most frustrating, nerve-racking, tear-filled weeks I have ever had.  No exaggeration.  There was not a single day last week I didn't break down sobbing at least once.  No PMS involved. 

I was SO ready for Ladies' Day. 

It was obvious that God had been at work in this event long before we started planning.   Everything from the anointing on the speakers to the weather to the decorations to the timing of everything was truly amazing.  Other than the fact that it was very cool that morning, Ladies' Day was absolutely perfect. 

It wasn't until keynote speaker Linda Mirante's second speech that I received what I needed, the message I had come to hear.

One word.

FOCUS.

She began by saying that when you have a bad day, you need to ask yourself, "What did I focus on today?"  I don't tend to be a very focused, driven person anyway, but I realized that I had had NO focus WHATSOEVER that week.  Or rather, I had no GOOD focus.  My focus had been on my distractions, duties, discouragements, and disasters.  I was looking around me when I needed to be looking up.

So that is the word that keeps coming to me this week as I try to repair the damage and continue on.  Focus on the next thing I need to do.  Focus on the child and not the clock  (So lunch is 45 minutes late.  They'll get over it eventually).  Focus on The One who has it ALL under control, if only I will get my grubby mitts off and give my chaos to Him. 

FOCUS. 

Puttin' My Hand in The Hand

 For the past, I don't know, 6 months or so, Psalm 37:23&24 has been a theme in my life:

 A man's steps are established by the Lord,

 and He delights in his way.

Even though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed,

 because the Lord holds his hand.

  

As the mother of a toddler, I totally identify.

No matter where we go, if we're walking, Nathan is right there beside me, or at least in very close proximity.  When we begin to cross the parking lot or walk where the ground is uneven, I grab his hand.  That way even if he does trip, he may get a skinned knee, but he's not going all the way down.  No bloody noses or bruised foreheads.  No teeth knocked out.  No major damage.  If he starts to pull away, I can (gently) yank him back.  It's also a chance to rub my fingers over his sweet baby hand or give a little squeeze to convey how much I love him.

Same with God and me.  He's got my hand.  He watches out for me, keeping me from tripping over rocky relationships.  He yanks me back when I strain ahead towards danger I can't see.   I may get my foot wet from stepping in the pothole, but I won't be sprawled out on the concrete.  And I can give His hand a little squeeze just as He can squeeze mine.  The mental picture I have of Him guiding me, protecting me and loving me never fails to bring a smile to my face and a thrill to my heart.

That is, unless I let go.  If I'm determined to wriggle "free," He'll let me.  If I sneer at Him and say, "I do it myself!" then He'll oblige.

On my own can be a very scary place.

I think I'll hang on.  

How about you? 

Holding On

Flylady.net has been, and continues to be, a huge help to me.  This wonderful lady and her team are revolutionizing my life by helping me declutter and organize.  My basement looks better than it has since we moved into this house 9 years ago, and my cabinets and closets, papers and piles, are slowly but surely coming into line.  Babysteps rule!

I have pitched and/or given away literally dozens of large trash bags full of stuff.  If I don't use it, need it or love it, it's gone.  Outta here.  Later, gator.  Several local organizations are benefiting from this process, and I am overjoyed to bless others with these items. 


However, there are a few things I am struggling with getting rid of.   I'm having a real hard time parting with my maternity clothes.  And Nathan's baby clothes.  I know for certain that neither of us will use them again, but I can't bring myself to let them go. I've happily loaned them out to others, but there's just something about the permanence of giving them away that so far has made me hesitate.


I do know that I will get there, that one day (hopefully) soon I WILL HAVE HAD IT and I will quickly grab them and take them to our local crisis pregnancy center...just not yet. 

I'm saddened that this seems so difficult for me.  I understand about emotional attachement and what not and I know I will be okay with it eventually, but it makes me wonder...


What other things in my life do not work for me, do I no longer need, and do I not love, that I still stubbornly refuse to throw away?  What habits, attitudes, agreements am I harboring like fugitives in the basement of my spirit?  


Who'd a thunk that decluttering the basement would have such an impact on the clutter in my soul?

I KNOW he didn't learn this from me...

So Tuesday morning Nathan and I were in my bedroom. He had his sippy cup of milk and accidentally dropped it on the tile in front of the fireplace. Several drops of milk spilled out onto the tile. I went to get something to clean it up, and when I came back in I found him on his knees in front of the fireplace. He was running his hand back and forth across the milk spill, saying "I kyean, I kyean."
I love when they start to "help" you.
He also does laundry. Apparently, I don't fold the clothes correctly as they come out of the dryer so he "refolds" them for me. He's such a sweetie. :)
Kind of like when I try to "help" God. I'll see a "mess" somewhere and think to myself, "I can help with this." With the best of intentions, I'll run my hands through the mess and shout, "I kyean, I kyean" and really, only make matters worse. If only I would ALWAYS remember to ASK Him if He would like my help before I just jump right in. If only I would also stop and listen for His answer...
Unfortunately, I'm not nearly as cute as Nathan is when I try to help.

Reflections from the mind of a 16 month-old boy

"What are you shouting about? It makes perfect sense to get Mommy's hairbrush and put it in the fireplace!"
"The leftovers will taste much better if I put my feet in the tupperware before she uses it."
"Dish towels belong on the kitchen floor, NOT on the hanger."
"The dog's water bowl, the dishwasher and the toilet are all acceptable places to play."
"It's not a good day unless I get a huge bruise somewhere on my head. Preferably as close to my eyes as possible."
"Throwing stuffed animals over the gate is fun. It is even more fun to watch Mommy put them away so I can do it all again."
"It is perfectly acceptable to put my shoes on to go somewhere, but NOT my coat."
"All buttons, levers, keyboards, drawer pulls, handles, and cords must be touched early and often."
"Individual packages of cookies and crackers taste much better after they've been crunched in my hands and thrown on the floor several times."
"Mommy's arrangement of knick-knacks is sorely lacking in composition and style. I must help her."
"Daddy's neckties look much more artistic in a jumbled pile on the closet floor."
"Toy remotes, keys, telephones, computers, ipods, etc are not near as much fun to play with as the real thing."
"Mommy and Daddy are starving our poor dog. I will be generous and share all of my food with her."
"Today my favorite game is 'Hide One of Daddy's Shoes.'"
"The scheduled nap time, which heretofore has been set in stone, is now negotiable, and may cease to exist in the near future."