Hello, My Name Is...

When I became a Christian years ago I learned about the Holy Spirit.  

When you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart God raised Him from the dead you will be saved (Romans 10:9).  Repent and be baptized... for the forgiveness of your sins and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38).

When I pictured, in my mind, living a life guided by the Holy Spirit, I saw myself walking in step with Him in all ways and at all times.  I would be so in tuned with Him that I wouldn't even need to think about what I was doing, He would just flow in me and through me, guiding my every action.

It wasn't until (many) years later that I realized that what I was picturing in my head wasn't really the Holy Spirit.


It was The Force.


Yes, okay, I'm a product of my generation.  Star Wars is part of my cultural makeup. 


The idea of the Spirit flowing through me in this way is not necessarily an inaccurate picture, but it is incomplete.  For instance, it's hard to have a relationship with a Force.  


"Good morning, Force!  I love you!"
"Whang...whang...whang..."


Not really working for me.


Fortunately, the Spirit is not a force.  He is a person.  The third member of the trinity.  Our counselor, comforter, strength and guide.  The Still, Small Voice that leads us.


If Jesus is The Word and the Spirit is The Voice...I should be able to hear Him talk, right?


I am learning to do just that.  I mean, I do hear from Him, usually an impression or a check in my spirit or through scripture or so many other ways.  But to hear His voice, actual words...it is a process.  I'll never get it 100% correct, but as I continue to grow in relationship with Him it will become easier to hear His voice. 


All of this I've known for a while and have been trying to put into practice.  This week, however, I realized how deeply ingrained the concept of The Spirit As The Force is in me.


I've started to realize I need...well...a bit of a prayer upgrade.  

Yes, I pray as I go throughout the day.  I pray for myself, Clinton, Matthew and Nathan, friends and family, different needs as I encounter them through the day, seeking guidance and wisdom and insight...but am I really praying, as I should be?  As I could be?


I think sometimes I sort of half-pray.  I THINK the prayers, but I'm not sure how much actual focus, purpose, intention I put into them. And certainly most of the time I don't ask what to pray and wait to hear the answer like I should.  (Who, me?  Not listen?  Too busy talking?  Distracted and discombobulated?  Ah, my friends, you know me well.) 

I guess on some level I rely too much on Romans 8:26b, We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  Maybe I subconsciously assume He will simply fill in ALL the blanks.


I think it's like living with someone.   You can inhabit the same house but that doesn't mean you have a close relationship, or even any relationship.   You've got to talk to each other, communicate, spend time together.  

Clinton can walk through the house and I can tell what kind of mood he's in by the weight of his footsteps.  I can hear the pouting tone of Matthew's voice even before I nag him to practice his piano lesson.  I know if I raise my eyebrow just right that Nathan will go into a giggle fit.  

I know these things because I spend time with them.  I watch them and try to learn about them.  We are familiar with each other.   But there is always more to learn, more to discover, more nuances and details to be revealed.

Don't get me wrong.  I do meet with Him, usually several times a day.  It's amazing what insights can come when you're folding laundry.   I'm learning and growing all the time.  I'm becoming more and more familiar .  God and I are good, but can always get better.  I just need to be a little more focused, a little more purposeful.

So if you say something to me and I don't answer right away, hang on, I'll be with you in a minute.  I'm talking with God.