I'm No Longer Chandler Bing

By Igore Konforti, Courtesy of freeimages.com

It took only one acting class to confirm what I already knew: I hide behind humor. What I didn’t realize was how much, and why.

The teacher said what I’m sure actors have been learning since the camera was invented, but it was a revelation to me: in front of the camera is a safe place, meaning actors must dig deep, be real, lay out their experiences and emotions in order to connect with the audience.

My immediate reaction was, “No it’s not. There is no safe place.” It was both a gouge and a light bulb to my heart. “Wow," I thought. "I’m Chandler from 'Friends.'”

I have believed humor to be the only safe place. I’ve spent my life bullied, belittled, anxious, and invisible except when I did something I shouldn’t (which is more often than not). The power in humor is that people can’t beat you up and laugh at the same time, so you’re safe, if only for that moment. Even if they are laughing at you, at least they are laughing.

I’ve been working on vulnerability in myself and my writing. It’s difficult on the best day. Chinks have been crumbling off the wall, but recently a huge hole was blasted out.

I read a post by Genevieve V.Georget and it resonated deeply with me. “I am and feel and fear so many of these same things,” I thought. “I must connect with this woman.” And I did.

It turns out I am not the only one. That one post has blown up so much that Facebook itself shut down her personal timeline.

Her words fresh in my heart, I was reading 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: But He said to me, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses… For when I am weak, then I am strong.

That was the second light bulb.

By sharing her darkness, pain, and fear, Genevieve invited us into one of the most life-giving and powerful forces in the universe: “Me, too.”

Connection is the most basic need we all have, beyond even food, water, and shelter. We can have vast overabundance of those things, but without connection, the despair of loneliness will eventually triumph. If we lack food, water, or shelter, connection will eventually bring them, and much more.

By sharing her weakness, her story, Genevieve received the strength of connection, in an abundance she will be days or even weeks sorting through.

More than receiving, she also gave. 

Isn't it funny how that works?