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It doesn't help that I have a tendency to wallow, to mentally list off who they are and where they went and wonder why.
Wallowing is replaying the losses, and "the fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side." I know that it weakens me. Now that I'm getting comfortable walking into strength, I'm learning to gratitude my way out of wallowing.
When I find myself focusing on what was, I'm learning to turn it around to be grateful for what is.
Many of these people I love, though stepped back, are still here. We are not sharing our lives as we used to, but they are still part of my story, and I am still part of theirs. That's what I have for right now, and right now is where my heart needs to be.
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