A Spoonful of Grace Helps the Judgement Go Down

Today I had the privilege of reading Heather's latest blog entry on freelybroken.blogspot.com.  In it she candidly shares her struggle with being judgmental.  I wanted to post a comment on her blog about what helps me in that area, but then I decided that, as long-winded as I can be, it might be better to blog on it myself.  

 

So what do I do to combat being judgmental?  (I use the word combat on purpose, because it is definitely a battle)  Two things that are closely related.

A)  In my experience, most of the time people hurt us unintentionally.  I can't take the offense (real or made up) personally.  The Rude Cashier didn't mean for the comment to sound so harsh.  The Stupid Driver didn't single me out to cut me off, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  My Friend didn't intend to make that horrible decision to aggravate me, something else must be going on in her life.  Don't take it personally.  Try to give the benefit of the doubt.  A little grace can go a long way.  

Even if we suspect what they did WAS intentional, what better way to diffuse it and make it stop than to let it roll off?  Truthfully, nothing gets my goat more than someone who won't fight with me when I want them to, but it does take two to tangle.  Yes, I will be a little perturbed that you're not going to be baited, but really, it will be so fun for you to watch my reaction.  (Okay, my human nature is coming out)  It's also helpful to remember Proverbs 19:11, A man's wisdom gives him patience;  it is to his glory to overlook an offense.   I usually have to quote it to myself early and often.

2) I remind myself that I do not have all the information on a person or situation.  For all I know, the Rude Cashier may just have learned that her mother is dying of cancer.  The Stupid Driver may be losing his job at the end of the week.  My Friend who made a stupid decision might be influenced by people or situations I know nothing about.  There is nearly always more to the story than I know at the time.

This is the way that I try to react when confronted with Rude Cashier:  "Wow, she seems to be having a bad day.  I wonder why?  Did I do something to contribute to it and need to apologize?  No.  Is there anything I can do to help turn her day around?  Yes.  I can be sure to smile at her and tell her 'Thank you.'  I can try to lighten the day with a funny observation.  Above all, I can pray for her, that God will meet her where she is right now and shine His light into her life.  That He would send His comfort and strength, wisdom and understanding into whatever situation she is facing today.  That I can be His hands and feet to her." 

I'll be the first (and loudest) to admit that I don't always succeed in this.  But I am trying to follow Romans 12:2 and "no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind."  Transformation takes both time and the power of the Holy Spirit. 

God overlooks the hundreds of times each day that I snub him.  He forgives me when I'm harsh with my kids and my husband.  He waits patiently when I cut Him off before He's finished talking to me.   The least I can do is try to extend that same grace to others.

Creativity In All Its Forms

I believe that women, in general, are pretty good at multi-tasking. 

I'm not quite as good at it as some.  It seems I can handle several small things at once (I am, after all, a mom), but big projects?  One at a time, please.

I finally sent my skit to be edited and I guess my brain decided it needed to take a break.  So in place of creatively writing, I've been creatively decluttering.

I don't like a lot of "stuff".  Clutter stresses me out.  I'm not a collector.  My preferred style of decorating is minimalist.  Of course, I'm married to a pack rat, so our house is a happy medium.  

However, one thing I do seem to collect is information.  I am a pack rat of paper.  So this week I've done a complete 180 from writing.  Rather than create more papers I am flinging paper.  Flylady would be proud.  I even came prepared with a new box of band-aids on hand for the inevitable paper cuts. 

There are several places in my kitchen and office that have become repositories for paper clutter.  I want my info close at hand, but then I can't find what I need in the piles, if I remember I have it in the first place.  Those places are now either gone or severely edited.  Anything I want to save I'm placing in a bin until I get my filing cabinet drawer "flung through" (hopefully next week).  

This newly decluttered drawer will be a haven for ideas and other information I find interesting and worth saving.  It will be organized.  Even if I only have one piece of paper per folder, that paper will have a home in that folder.  Hmmmm.  I may need to purchase another box of file folders.  Or two.  Better add that to my shopping list.

You may remember a few weeks back when I posted a picture of my "office space."  Here is the before and after:

It feels amazing to have the clutter thrown out, or at least put in temporary housing in the basement while its mansion is being built.   I can't wait for next week to tackle that file drawer!  

Some may ask why I didn't start with the file drawer and have it ready before sorting the office and kitchen papers.  The answer is that I know myself, and if I can accomplish a few smaller tasks and get them out of the way I am more motivated to tackle the bigger task.  Starting with the big task can seem too overwhelming.

 I guess I'm proof of the old saying, "You can do it all, you just can't do it all at once."  

Maybe that makes me a Minimal Multi-tasker...?

Skit happens...

I've been trying really hard to work on my skit for the Oil Belt Ladies' Day in April.  

Last year it was a one-woman skit.  This year there are two of us.  

Last year if I rewrote the entire thing 5 minutes before I went onstage it was okay.  This year Mary has lines to memorize, too, and we'll need to rehearse together.   

Ladies' Day is in 10 weeks.  I've been making good progress on the skit this week, but I've had to neglect my blog a bit to get it done.  

Hopefully I'll be finished very soon and will get a few of the ideas I have off the post it notes and onto the computer.  

Stay tuned!  :)