Come Be a Fool

In the world of literature, there is the character of the Fool.  Think of Uncle Billy from “It’s a Wonderful Life,” C3PO in “Star Wars,” Timon and Pumbaa in “The Lion King.”  These second-banana sidekicks tend to be the comic relief, the ones who cause the Heroic Central Characters to roll their eyes and shake their heads, tolerating their friend who is not “all there.”

Christians tend to look like Fools, at least to the world.  After all, we are the ones who believe in things the world believes aren’t really there, things like Heaven and Hell, angels and demons, a Spirit that lives in our hearts.  We are the ones who, like Paul, hear Jesus’ voice while the world hears only thunder.

 

We appear foolish to the world because we have faith: faith in the existence of God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit; faith that God will work all things for our good (Romans 8:28);  that he has plans to help us and not to harm us, to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11); that he loves us so much that he sent his only begotten son, so that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). 

Faith, as Hebrews 11:1 says, is being…certain of what we do not see.

To the world, it looks foolish to believe in things we cannot see, but it looks downright crazy to believe that these things are MORE true, MORE real, than those we can see.  Yet that is exactly what God calls us to believe.  His ways are higher.  His love is real love.  His truth is THE truth.  We need to believe what He says over what we see, hear and feel.

This level of crazy, of faith, is what Jesus exemplified.  After all, when you start teaching about loving your enemies, treasure in Heaven and being born a second time, you’re going to see some eyes roll.  My friends, if the people of the world are not rolling their eyes at us, we are doing something wrong. 

How many eye rolls, and worse, do we think Noah got while he built the ark?   Can we imagine what the people of Jericho were shouting at the Israelites as they walked around the city?  How crazy did Gideon seem with his little band of 300 weaponless men going up against an army of 135,000 soldiers?  Even Jesus Himself was thought to be a lunatic by his own family.

But we have the Bible, and we know the rest of the story.  Noah, the Israelites, Gideon, and Jesus were not crazy.  They simply knew something no one else did.  Or rather, Someone no one else did.  They counted His promises to be truer than their circumstances, and God honored their faith. 

Literarily speaking, by the end of their stories, they had become the Heroic Central Character as well as the Fool. 

Perhaps one day, if we live out our crazy faith, our stories will show that we also are both the Hero and the Fool.  

A Gift for All People -- Max Lucado

This is not my content and I do not claim it to be.  This is THE BEST explanation of God's plan for salvation I have seen.  Previously you could access this story online.  I wish everyone could read it, and so I am posting it here.  If you've never read Max Lucado, ANY of his books will feed your soul and draw you closer to God.  PLEASE do yourself a favor and BUY HIS BOOKS!  (Or his videos, or his children's materials, or...you get the idea)


from Max Lucado's book The Gift For All People (It also appears in his book He Did This For You.)


The Privilege--God's Invitation to You

I can remember, as a seven-year old, going to my grandparents’ house for a week.  Mom and Dad bought a ticket, gave me some spending money, put me on a Greyhound bus, and told me not to talk to strangers or get off the bus until I saw my grandma out the window.  They made it very clear to me that my destiny was Ralls, Texas. 

God has done the same for you.  He has placed you on a journey.  He has a destiny for your life (and you’ll be glad to know it’s not Ralls, Texas).

“For God has destined us not for wrath but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ” (I Thessalonians 5:9, NRSV).

According to the Bible, God’s destiny for your life is salvation.  Your intended destination is heaven.  God has done exactly what my parents did.  He has purchased your passage.  He has equipped you for the journey.  God loves you so much that he wants you to be with him forever. 

The choice, however, is up to you.  Even though he stands at the door with ticket paid and pocket money for the trip…many choose to go in directions other than the one God intends.  That is the problem.

Our Problem: Sin (We’re On the Wrong Bus)

When my parents gave me the ticket and told me which bus to board, I believed them and did what they said.  I trusted them.  I knew they loved me, and I knew they knew more than I did…so I got on board. 

Becoming a Christian is getting on board with Christ.  Jesus stands at the door of the bus and says, “I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6, NKJV).  Unfortunately, not all accept his invitation.  I know I didn’t the first time he invited.  I spent some time on the wrong bus.

There are many buses, each of them promising to take you to happiness.  There is the bus of pleasure, possessions, power, passion.  I saw a bus called party and got on board.  It was full of people laughing and carousing; they seemed to be enjoying a nonstop party.  It was quite some time before I learned they had to be loud to cover up all the pain inside. 

The word for getting on the wrong bus is sin.  Sin is when we say, I’ll go my way instead of God’s way.  Right in the middle the word sin is the word I.   Sin is when we say, I’ll do what I want, no matter what God says.  Only God can fulfill our needs.  Sin is the act of going to everyone but God for what only God can give.  Am I the only one who has spent time on the wrong bus?  No.  Some buses are more violent than others.  Some rides are more lengthy than others but:

“All of us like sheep have gone astray, ecah of us has turned to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6, NASB)

“If we say that we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves, and refusing to accept the truth” (1 John 1:8, TLB)

“We’re sinners, every one of us, in the same sinking boat with everybody else” (Romans 3:20, MSG)

To board the wrong bus is a serious mistake.  Sin breaks our relationship with God.  We were intended to journey with him.  But when we are on a different bus headed the wrong direction, we feel far from God.  This is why life can seem so cruddy.  We aren’t fulfilling our destiny. 

Sin not only breaks our relationship with God, it also hampers our relationship with others.  Can you imagine taking a long trip to the wrong place with a bus-load of people?  With time, everyone gets cranky.  Nobody likes the trip.  The journey is miserable.

We try to cope with the problems by therapy or recreation or prescriptions.  But nothing helps.  The Bible says:

“There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” (Proverbs 16:25, NLT).

You see, the end result of sin is death…spiritual death.  “The wages of sin,” Paul writes, “is death…” (Romans 6:23, NIV)  Spend a life on the wrong bus headed in the wrong direction, and you’ll end up in the wrong place.  You’ll end up in hell.  His plan for you is heaven.  Your destiny is heaven.  He’ll do anything to get you to heaven, with one exception.  There is one thing he won’t do.  He won’t force you.  The decision is yours.  But he has done everything else.  Let me show you what I mean.

The Solution: Grace (Go To the Right Bus)

If the problem is sin and all have sinned, what can you do?  Well, you can go to church, but that won’t make you a Christian.  Just like going to a rodeo doesn’t make you a cowboy, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian.  You could work really hard to please God.  You could do a lot of good stuff, give away a lot of things…the only problem with that is that you don’t know how many good things you have to do.  Or you could compare yourself with others: “I may be bad, but at least I’m better than Hitler.”  The problem with comparisons is that other people aren’t the standard: God is!

So what are you going to do?  If you aren’t saved by going to church or doing good works or by comparing yourself to others, how are you saved?  The answer is simple: Go to the right bus.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV). 

Note what God did” “…He gave his only Son.”  This is how he dealt with your sin.  Imagine it this way.  Suppose you are found guilty of a crime.  You are in a courtroom in front of the judge, and he sentences you to death for your crime.  His sentence is just.  You are guilty, and the punishment for your crime is death.  But suppose that the judge is your father.  He knows the law; he knows that your crime demands a death.  But he knows love; he knows that he loves you too much to let you die.  So in a wonderful act of love, he stands and removes his robes and stands by your side and says, “I’m going to die in your place.”

That is what God did for you.  The wages of sin is death.  Heaven’s justice demands a death for your sin.  Heaven’s love, however, can’t bear to see you die.  So here is what God did.  He stood and removed his heavenly robes.  He came to earth to tell us that he would die for us.  He would be our Savior.  And that is what he did.

“God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins…God put on him the wrong who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God” (2 Corinthians 5:19,21, MSG)

The Response: Trust (Getting on the Right Bus)

What does God want you to do?  He wants you to get on his bus.  How is this done?  Three simple steps: admit, agree, accept.

1. Admit that God has not been first place in your life, and ask him to forgive your sins.

“If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” (1 John 1:9, NLT).

2.Agree that Jesus died to pay for your sins and that he rose from the dead and is alive today.

“If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9, NIV)

“Salvation is found in no one else (Jesus), for there is no other name by which we must be saved: (Acts 4:12, NIV)

3. Accept God’s free gift of salvation.  Don’t try to earn it.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8,9, NIV).

“To all who received him, he gave the right to become children of God.  All they needed to do was to trust him to save them.  All those who believe this are reborn!—not a physical rebirth…but from the will of God” (John 1:12,13, TLB).

Jesus says, “Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in…” (Revelation 3:20, NIV).

With all of my heart, I urge you to accept God’s destiny for your life.  I urge you to get on board with Christ.  According to the Bible, “Jesus is the only One who can save people.  His name is the only power in the world that has been given to save people.  We must be saved through him” (Acts 4:12, NCV).

Would you let him save you?  This is the most important decision you will ever make.  Why don’t you give your heart to him right now?  Admit your need.  Agree with his work.  Accept his gift.  Go to God in prayer and tell him, I am a sinner in need of grace.  I believe that Jesus died for me on the cross.  I accept your offer of salvation.  It’s a simple prayer with eternal results.

Your Response

I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God.  I want him to be the Lord of my life.

___________________________________________

Signed

___________________________________________

Date

Once you’ve placed your faith in Christ, I urge you to take three steps.  You find them easy to remember.  Just think of these three words.  They each start with a “b”:

Baptism demonstrates and celebrates our decision to follow Jesus.  The water of baptism symbolizes God’s grace.  Just as water cleanses the body, so grace cleanses the soul.  Jesus said, “Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved…” (Mark 16:16, NCV).  When the apostle Paul became a believer, he was asked this question: “Now, why wait any longer?  Get up, be baptized, and wash your sins away, trusting in him to save you” (Acts 22:16, NCV).  Paul responded by being baptized immediately.  You can, too.

Bible reading brings us face to face with God.  God reveals himself to us through his word by the Holy Spirit.  “Let the teaching of Christ live in you richly” (Colossians 3:16, NCV)

Belonging to a church reinforces your faith.  A Christian without a church is like a baseball player without a team or a soldier without an army.  You aren’t strong enough to survive alone.  “You should not stay away from church meetings, as some are doing, but you should meet together and encourage each other.” (Hebrews 10:25, NCV)

These three steps—baptism, Bible reading and belonging to a church—are essential steps in your faith. 

I pray that you’ll accept this great gift of salvation.  Believe me, this is not only the most important decision you’ll ever make, it’s also the greatest decision you’ll ever make.  There’s no higher treasure than God’s gift of salvation.

Dogs, Teeth and Power over the Darkness

As a child growing up in the Chicago suburbs, our fenced-in backyard ended at the alley.

One day we were in the backyard playing baseball.  My sister, Lorie, was batting.  She nailed the ball, sending it past our garage and across the alley.   It landed in the yard of some people with whom we didn't have many social interactions.  These neighbors didn't have children, so we didn't have much occasion to talk to them.  They did, however, have a short-haired medium-sized black dog that slept on the back porch.  It did occasionally look up when we walked by, but most of the time it slept.

The rule was that if you hit the ball out of the yard, you were responsible for getting it.  After weighing all of the options, the consensus was that Lorie needed to climb over the chain link fence, sneak in and get the ball, trying not to wake the dog.

She gingerly slunk over the fence and then tiptoed carefully towards the middle of the yard.  We watched in silence.  The dog continued to sleep.  She found the ball and picked it up.  Everything was okay.  Then she stepped on a stick and it cracked.

"BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!"  The dog raced after Lorie, snarling and growling, a horrendous grimace on his face.  Lorie took off at a dead run for the fence, the rest of us shouting.  She made it to the fence, literally flipping over, and landed on her back on the pavement.  It seemed the dog was mere inches away from tearing off her foot.  We gathered her up and  hurried into our own backyard.  Lorie was a little bruised from the fall, but most of the damage was from the terror of being chased by the terrifying dog.

Later that afternoon our mother went to the neighbors to explain what happened.  The woman of the house replied, "Oh, it's no trouble for them to come in and get their ball anytime.  That dog couldn't have hurt her.  He doesn't have any teeth."

That was thirty years ago and we still laugh about it.

I have been facing some pain and uncertainty with my health recently.  I know that at least part of it is a spiritual attack.  Fear of the Unknown Future has been wrapping his icy fingers around my heart and mind, causing panic and confusion and anxiety.  I know that Jesus promises that if we resist the devil he will flee (James 4:7), but sometimes it is so difficult simply to stand our ground, much less war against him.  It's especially difficult because what he says feels true, and directly feeds my own fear:  "You will be in pain for the rest of your life.  It will only get worse.  There isn't anything they can do to help you.  Get used to it. Give in and give up."

I asked God to help me, and He reminded me of the Toothless Dog story.  I had to laugh yet again, this time with great relief and peace.  You see, just like the black dog, our enemy the devil doesn't have any teeth.  We are God's children, protected by His grace, and He gives us power over the the darkness, the fear, the anxiety.  Oh, the devil sure puts on a show, racing towards us at breakneck speed to attack, snarling and barking accusations, growling out lies.  But, when it comes right down to it, he cannot hurt us.

The enemy has no teeth.

Now whenever those icy fingers try to close around my heart, I send the Toothless Wonder home to his own hellish backyard, and I remind myself of God's promises to me of healing.  So far, so good.  Fear of the Unknown Future is on its way to becoming merely a memory, just like the formerly terrifying dog.

In The Beginning

One day it hit me that in the Bible, the books of Genesis and John both begin with the phrase, '"In the beginning."  I laid them out side by side, reading back and forth between one and the other.  I though their dialogue was extraordinary.  Let me know what you think.  :)

John 1 NIV   ¹ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 

 

Genesis 1, NIV ¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 

 

² He was with God in the beginning. 

 

² Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 

 

³ Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 

 

³ And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 

 

⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 

 

⁴ God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. ⁵ God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day. 

 

⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 

 

⁶ And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” ⁷ So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. ⁸ God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day. 

 

⁶ There was a man sent from God whose name was John. ⁷ He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 

 

⁹ And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. ¹⁰ God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.¹¹ Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. ¹² The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. ¹³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day. 

 

⁸ He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 

 

¹⁴ And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, ¹⁵ and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. ¹⁶ God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. ¹⁷ God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, ¹⁸ to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. ¹⁹ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day. 

 

⁹ The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 

 

²⁰ And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” ²¹ So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. ²² God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” ²³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day. 

²⁴ And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. ²⁵ God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 

 

¹⁰ He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 

 

²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”  ²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,    in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them. 

 

¹¹ He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 

 

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” 

 

12Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³ children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. 

 

²⁹ Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. ³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. 

 

¹⁴ The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

A Journal of a Thousand Gifts

I've been struck so much lately by how much pain we human beings seem to bear.  I know so many people (myself included) who are struggling these days.  Unemployment, sick children, cancer, financial woes, the death of loved ones, loneliness, physical infirmity, relationship issues, and infertility are only a few examples.

It truly never ends. We get one problem cleared up and another one surfaces.  Life is never perfect.  It is always a battle. Always.  

If you're at all like me, you're weary of the struggle.  Sick and tired of sick and tired.  More and more I find myself wanting to take all my toys and go home until Life agrees to play nicely.  While I enjoy a good wallow in self-pity  more than occasionally, I'm starting to see Discouragement and Despair taking up more permanent residence in my heart (reminding me a bit of these commercials).  

I need a spiritual expectorant to force this soul illness to take a hike. 

Knowing I have to do SOMETHING is one thing.  Knowing what that something IS is quite another thing.  I must admit, my tactic this time is not one I've tried before. This tactic is also not my idea.

In January my friend Joline (creator of and co-contributor with me at  dailyfastfuel.com) wrote a blog post about a book.  I had never heard of the book but the post stuck with me.  A couple of months later, on a Tuesday, my friend Kay gave me a copy of this very book.  I was touched and intended to read it, but managed to lay it on top of the "One Dozen Books I Want To Read" Pile.  Then that very Friday, my friend Julie sent me a facebook message about this book that she kept thinking I would really like. 

OKAY, GOD, OKAY!  I'm getting the message!  I'll read the book!

And then I proceeded to leave it on the top of The Pile for another couple of months.  

FINALLY I have succumbed to the guilt shame conviction and started reading, albeit VERY slowly.  The book is called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  This is not a book you can plow through.  It must be savored, contemplated, allowed to percolate.  

I also need to read it slowly because I can only take so much at once.  Having the toes of my heart stepped on, no matter how gently, is NOT fun.  But I can already feel a shift happening, the realization that I too need to have my life transformed by Grace, Thanksgiving and Joy. 

So to that end I have bought a journal.  As of this minute I haven't written anything in the journal other than the circumstances leading up to the purchase of the journal, but it's a start.  The toes of my heart are getting stronger and I'm procrastinating taking baby steps. A journal of a thousand gifts begins with a single entry.

All I have to lose are Discouragement and Despair.

All I have to gain is...well...I can't really imagine just yet.

I'm only on page 58.  :)

Fueling Up a Dream

Occasionally, the simple act of opening and reading an email can change your life.

Towards the end of last year, I got an email from my friend Joline over at The Cuppa Jo. She had been mulling around the idea of starting an online/email devotional for over a year, and would I be interested in partnering with her and a few other women in this project?

I prayed a lot.  I went several rounds toe to toe with Self Doubt and I Don’t Have Time.  Finally, Peace won out.  I was in, although I must admit that even today a few butterflies remain.

EASTER SUNDAY is/was the official launch of dailyfastfuel.com with MONDAY, APRIL 25 beginning the actual Word-based devotional “nuggets.”  

You see, part of Joline’s vision was a SHORT devotional, one that you don’t even have to scroll down your screen to read in its entirety.  A tiny nugget of wisdom, a small morsel to wrap up and take with you, a drop of soul fuel to nourish you throughout the day. 

Now, some of you have read my other blog posts.  You know how easy challenging it will be for me to limit my posts to 150 words.  CAN I DO THIS?  (There’s Self Doubt sticking his nose in again…)

Don’t you think that’s reason enough to log in, sign up and find out?

No? 

[sigh]  Okay, fine.  Well then sign up for the fact that we six writers have completely different life experiences, attitudes and senses of humor.  Some are wiser, some are bolder, some are wittier.  ALL of us love God and love to write.   Each writer will “serve you” a week at a time, Monday through Friday. 

I’ll give you one last reason.  This post is 350ish words.  Dailyfastfuel.com will take you half as long to read.  :)

Those are better reasons, right?  Yeah, I thought you’d see it my way eventually.  ;)

dailyfastfuel.com.  Come on in for a bite.  Share it with your friends, or with your enemies, or with perfect strangers.  It’s all good.

Would you like some faith with that?  :)

                                         

Turns Out Old Dogs CAN Learn New Tricks

It may seem from the title that I've got dogs on the brain a lot these days, especially after having written This Post and This Other Post.   Trust me, it's just a metaphor.

Really, it's not the Old Dog that's important so much as the New Trick.

Are ya ready to read it?  Are ya sure?  Okay.  Here is the new trick:

This 41 year old stay-at-home mom, farmer's wife, writer/filmmaker/speaker/kayaker, is going to be a drummer.

No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight. You read it correctly.  I said I'm going to be a drummer.  Yes, like real drums.

Yeah, yeah, okay, fine.  You can stop laughing now.

No, seriously.  You can stop laughing.

Well, okay, just because you can't stop laughing doesn't make it any less true.  [sticks her tongue out in your general direction]

 Christmas 2009 saw us buying Lego Rock Band for Matthew.  We got him the game itself, a guitar and a set of drums.  We knew he'd love it and he did.  What we didn't know was that I would love it even more.

After Clinton got it all set up, Matt picked up the guitar and I sat down at the drums.  Before we even began to play the first song I knew it felt like home.  I fell in love.  There really isn't any other way to describe it.

I've always had a really good sense of rhythm.  I think having danced helps, also.  In both dance and drumming your arms and legs are doing different things at the same time.  I think both activities use the same part of my brain, the one that does its own thing when I let my conscious mind take a back seat and just feel.  I'm not saying all dancers can play the drums, but it seems to be working for me.

Somehow, sitting there, I just knew that I could do this.  I knew it like I knew my own name.  I can still completely recall that feeling.  That conviction has never faded.  

I thought and prayed and waited and listened.  The biggest problem was convincing Clinton that I needed drums, specifically electronic drums.  You know, the kind that you plug in to an amplifier.  That you use with headphones so that you don't wake up the kids when they're sleeping because that's the only time you get a minute to sit down anyway.   


Those kind of drums are not cheap.  He made me swear on my mother's life that I would not ask for another Christmas, birthday or anniversary present for the next eight to ten years.  (Okay, not really.  I did offer, though.  Sorry Mom.)

Thirteen months after my Christmas Lego Rock Band Revelation my drums finally arrived.  I sat down with the DVD Clinton got me and learned a few grooves and fills.  I've been banging around ever since, playing along with songs on my iPod.  On March 31 I will start lessons.

I.  Am going.  To.  ROCK!  Whoo-hoo!  [commence happy dancing]  I'm so excited I can barely stand myself.  I am fulfilling a life-long dream I only discovered 15 months ago. 

So that's the basic story of how a middle-aged momma is not so quietly transforming into a cool rocker chick.

Okay, okay.  I admit it.  Now I'm laughing, too.  Sheesh, I couldn't even WRITE that last line with a straight face. 

It's completely unlikely, isn't it?  Unexpected?  Darned near inconceivable?  I've heard of a dealing with a mid-life crisis before, but discovering a mid-life passion?  Really?

And that's what's got me just a little bit bugged about the whole thing.

Why now? 

Why am I only just now discovering this enormous side of myself?  I mean, I'm 41 for crying out loud.  Wouldn't it have been much better to discover this 30 years ago (oh, that makes me feel old)?   I might have been REALLY good instead of just potentially kinda good.  [cue Marlon Brando] "I could've been a contender."

What could my life have been like had I grown up playing the drums?

I think I have an idea.  Knowing myself as I do, I think I would have focused on the drums to the exclusion of everything else. "I'm good at this, I love it, why try anything else?"  I wouldn't be writing or speaking or making films. I wouldn't be open to other aspects of myself, other ways to be used of God in my little corner of the world.  I'd be a more linear person, to my detriment.

Worse, I think I would have focused on myself to the exclusion of my family. I'd be resentful of farming season and the time commitment involved because it would cut into my practice time.  I'd resent living in a small town where there are very few opportunities or venues to play.

I think I'd be much more selfish than I am already.

So maybe God does know something about timing.  And about me.

It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.  Proverbs 25:2