If you recall from my last post I was in a bit of a rough patch. Right after that post (and I mean within hours of that post) things in my life took a major nosedive. Don't worry, I won't bore you with details. But, I got to the point that on this particular day I really needed some serious direction, encouragement and comfort, the kind that no amount of coffee or Reese's Miniature Peanut Butter Cups could provide.
So I FINALLY did what I SHOULD have done in the FIRST place. I cried out to God.
"Lord, please, please help me today. I need Your comfort and strength. I need healing. I know You love me, but I really could use a little something extra today."
Then I purposed to consciously clear my heart and mind and look for His love notes to me throughout the day. I would ask, seek and knock and trust Him to give, reveal and open. And, BONUS, I would write it all down so I could remember what He said. :)
The first love note came in the form of a friend's facebook status, which I then
Later in the day I listened to The Daily Audio Bible with Brian Hardin. The New Testament reading was from Matthew 12:1-21. In this passage Jesus heals a man with a shriveled hand. I just about fell over. This was a passage God gave me back in November to let me know He was going to heal my hand (which turned out to be my neck/back/shoulder/arm). It was loving confirmation that He IS still working.
THEN I heard verse 20: A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out, till He leads justice to victory. Oh how I have been a bruised reed! Oh how my passion and creativity have been nearly snuffed out lately! How comforting that justice and victory are coming! I copied that verse down and now it sits right in front of me at the computer. I CLING to that verse.
Once Brian finishes reading the daily scripture verses he will usually make comments about what he read and then prays. Included in his prayer were these words: "We thank you for what you've done in our lives and what you have yet to do. We look forward with longing to the day when your work is complete and we are completely restored, face to face with you as we were meant to be." All of that really resonated with me, but my brain really hooked on the word restored. That word factors into many areas of my life these days - physical, emotional, relational, spiritual. It's a big theme for me this year. Lord, You know how I long for the restoration that can only be found in You. Thank You.
After Brian prays and gives any announcements he plays called in prayer requests from other listeners. One of the requests that day was from a lady who had many long term medical problems. She said, "[God] told me a few years ago that he would heal me and I believed him and just said let my healing glorify him, so whenever the timing was right, that is when it should be rather than me try to argue that it should be then....He [said he] was going to start healing me but really gently." That exactly fits what I've been sensing about some healing that I've needed in my own life. He IS gently healing me. Loving confirmation again!
Later on facebook a friend posted as a status Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." This verse is special to me already because I consider the first part to be my kayaking verse. But after reading it this time I saw something different. I saw Him carrying me through rivers of tears and through the fire of pain. YES! my heart said. YES, Lord! YOU ARE WITH ME!
Later I messaged a friend and mentor for some guidance on all my stuckness, letting her know what I was already doing and wondering if there were other bases I needed to cover. She messaged back that I was doing the right things, that I was on the right track. Her words brought me a great deal of comfort.
And, yes, again on facebook a friend posted her daily "Message from God." Several of my friends get that app and God has used their "message" more than once to send a message to me. This time was no exception. "On this day, God wants you to know...that transformation is possible at any time. A person can transform, a situation can transform. Never lose hope. Under the proper conditions of love, faith and belief transformation is quite possible." Transformation at any time! Never lose hope of the restoration of people and situations! I must continue on in love and faith and let HIM work it out.
And that brings me around to what I believe is my verse from God for 2011, from Zechariah 4:6, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel, 'Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord of hosts." You see, the name Zerubbabel is a bit special to me at the moment (if you see my film once it's finished you'll understand why). It's also a BIG reminder to me that once I do my best I must let it go, trusting Him for the outcome, not just with the film but in all areas of my life.
Reminders to count my blessings. Reminders of previous promises. Gentle guidance. Restoration is possible, and is coming. A gradual but perfectly timed healing of pain and sorrow is on the way. Comfort that I'm doing what I need to be doing. I will hang in there and not lose hope.
EXACTLY what I needed to hear. And now, a few weeks later, I am pleased to report that I have been officially unstuck.
ASK. EXPECT an answer. BE OPEN to receive it, in whatever form(s) it comes. Probably most importantly, WRITE IT DOWN. Let the evidence of God's past faithfulness be the snow plow that unsticks you the next time you're feeling snowed under.
