Dogs, Teeth and Power over the Darkness

As a child growing up in the Chicago suburbs, our fenced-in backyard ended at the alley.

One day we were in the backyard playing baseball.  My sister, Lorie, was batting.  She nailed the ball, sending it past our garage and across the alley.   It landed in the yard of some people with whom we didn't have many social interactions.  These neighbors didn't have children, so we didn't have much occasion to talk to them.  They did, however, have a short-haired medium-sized black dog that slept on the back porch.  It did occasionally look up when we walked by, but most of the time it slept.

The rule was that if you hit the ball out of the yard, you were responsible for getting it.  After weighing all of the options, the consensus was that Lorie needed to climb over the chain link fence, sneak in and get the ball, trying not to wake the dog.

She gingerly slunk over the fence and then tiptoed carefully towards the middle of the yard.  We watched in silence.  The dog continued to sleep.  She found the ball and picked it up.  Everything was okay.  Then she stepped on a stick and it cracked.

"BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!"  The dog raced after Lorie, snarling and growling, a horrendous grimace on his face.  Lorie took off at a dead run for the fence, the rest of us shouting.  She made it to the fence, literally flipping over, and landed on her back on the pavement.  It seemed the dog was mere inches away from tearing off her foot.  We gathered her up and  hurried into our own backyard.  Lorie was a little bruised from the fall, but most of the damage was from the terror of being chased by the terrifying dog.

Later that afternoon our mother went to the neighbors to explain what happened.  The woman of the house replied, "Oh, it's no trouble for them to come in and get their ball anytime.  That dog couldn't have hurt her.  He doesn't have any teeth."

That was thirty years ago and we still laugh about it.

I have been facing some pain and uncertainty with my health recently.  I know that at least part of it is a spiritual attack.  Fear of the Unknown Future has been wrapping his icy fingers around my heart and mind, causing panic and confusion and anxiety.  I know that Jesus promises that if we resist the devil he will flee (James 4:7), but sometimes it is so difficult simply to stand our ground, much less war against him.  It's especially difficult because what he says feels true, and directly feeds my own fear:  "You will be in pain for the rest of your life.  It will only get worse.  There isn't anything they can do to help you.  Get used to it. Give in and give up."

I asked God to help me, and He reminded me of the Toothless Dog story.  I had to laugh yet again, this time with great relief and peace.  You see, just like the black dog, our enemy the devil doesn't have any teeth.  We are God's children, protected by His grace, and He gives us power over the the darkness, the fear, the anxiety.  Oh, the devil sure puts on a show, racing towards us at breakneck speed to attack, snarling and barking accusations, growling out lies.  But, when it comes right down to it, he cannot hurt us.

The enemy has no teeth.

Now whenever those icy fingers try to close around my heart, I send the Toothless Wonder home to his own hellish backyard, and I remind myself of God's promises to me of healing.  So far, so good.  Fear of the Unknown Future is on its way to becoming merely a memory, just like the formerly terrifying dog.

In The Beginning

One day it hit me that in the Bible, the books of Genesis and John both begin with the phrase, '"In the beginning."  I laid them out side by side, reading back and forth between one and the other.  I though their dialogue was extraordinary.  Let me know what you think.  :)

John 1 NIV   ¹ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 

 

Genesis 1, NIV ¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 

 

² He was with God in the beginning. 

 

² Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 

 

³ Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 

 

³ And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 

 

⁴ In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 

 

⁴ God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. ⁵ God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day. 

 

⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 

 

⁶ And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” ⁷ So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. ⁸ God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day. 

 

⁶ There was a man sent from God whose name was John. ⁷ He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 

 

⁹ And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. ¹⁰ God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.¹¹ Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. ¹² The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. ¹³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day. 

 

⁸ He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 

 

¹⁴ And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, ¹⁵ and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. ¹⁶ God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. ¹⁷ God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, ¹⁸ to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. ¹⁹ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day. 

 

⁹ The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 

 

²⁰ And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” ²¹ So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. ²² God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” ²³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day. 

²⁴ And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. ²⁵ God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 

 

¹⁰ He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 

 

²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”  ²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,    in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them. 

 

¹¹ He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 

 

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” 

 

12Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³ children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. 

 

²⁹ Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. ³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. 

 

¹⁴ The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

A Journal of a Thousand Gifts

I've been struck so much lately by how much pain we human beings seem to bear.  I know so many people (myself included) who are struggling these days.  Unemployment, sick children, cancer, financial woes, the death of loved ones, loneliness, physical infirmity, relationship issues, and infertility are only a few examples.

It truly never ends. We get one problem cleared up and another one surfaces.  Life is never perfect.  It is always a battle. Always.  

If you're at all like me, you're weary of the struggle.  Sick and tired of sick and tired.  More and more I find myself wanting to take all my toys and go home until Life agrees to play nicely.  While I enjoy a good wallow in self-pity  more than occasionally, I'm starting to see Discouragement and Despair taking up more permanent residence in my heart (reminding me a bit of these commercials).  

I need a spiritual expectorant to force this soul illness to take a hike. 

Knowing I have to do SOMETHING is one thing.  Knowing what that something IS is quite another thing.  I must admit, my tactic this time is not one I've tried before. This tactic is also not my idea.

In January my friend Joline (creator of and co-contributor with me at  dailyfastfuel.com) wrote a blog post about a book.  I had never heard of the book but the post stuck with me.  A couple of months later, on a Tuesday, my friend Kay gave me a copy of this very book.  I was touched and intended to read it, but managed to lay it on top of the "One Dozen Books I Want To Read" Pile.  Then that very Friday, my friend Julie sent me a facebook message about this book that she kept thinking I would really like. 

OKAY, GOD, OKAY!  I'm getting the message!  I'll read the book!

And then I proceeded to leave it on the top of The Pile for another couple of months.  

FINALLY I have succumbed to the guilt shame conviction and started reading, albeit VERY slowly.  The book is called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  This is not a book you can plow through.  It must be savored, contemplated, allowed to percolate.  

I also need to read it slowly because I can only take so much at once.  Having the toes of my heart stepped on, no matter how gently, is NOT fun.  But I can already feel a shift happening, the realization that I too need to have my life transformed by Grace, Thanksgiving and Joy. 

So to that end I have bought a journal.  As of this minute I haven't written anything in the journal other than the circumstances leading up to the purchase of the journal, but it's a start.  The toes of my heart are getting stronger and I'm procrastinating taking baby steps. A journal of a thousand gifts begins with a single entry.

All I have to lose are Discouragement and Despair.

All I have to gain is...well...I can't really imagine just yet.

I'm only on page 58.  :)

Fueling Up a Dream

Occasionally, the simple act of opening and reading an email can change your life.

Towards the end of last year, I got an email from my friend Joline over at The Cuppa Jo. She had been mulling around the idea of starting an online/email devotional for over a year, and would I be interested in partnering with her and a few other women in this project?

I prayed a lot.  I went several rounds toe to toe with Self Doubt and I Don’t Have Time.  Finally, Peace won out.  I was in, although I must admit that even today a few butterflies remain.

EASTER SUNDAY is/was the official launch of dailyfastfuel.com with MONDAY, APRIL 25 beginning the actual Word-based devotional “nuggets.”  

You see, part of Joline’s vision was a SHORT devotional, one that you don’t even have to scroll down your screen to read in its entirety.  A tiny nugget of wisdom, a small morsel to wrap up and take with you, a drop of soul fuel to nourish you throughout the day. 

Now, some of you have read my other blog posts.  You know how easy challenging it will be for me to limit my posts to 150 words.  CAN I DO THIS?  (There’s Self Doubt sticking his nose in again…)

Don’t you think that’s reason enough to log in, sign up and find out?

No? 

[sigh]  Okay, fine.  Well then sign up for the fact that we six writers have completely different life experiences, attitudes and senses of humor.  Some are wiser, some are bolder, some are wittier.  ALL of us love God and love to write.   Each writer will “serve you” a week at a time, Monday through Friday. 

I’ll give you one last reason.  This post is 350ish words.  Dailyfastfuel.com will take you half as long to read.  :)

Those are better reasons, right?  Yeah, I thought you’d see it my way eventually.  ;)

dailyfastfuel.com.  Come on in for a bite.  Share it with your friends, or with your enemies, or with perfect strangers.  It’s all good.

Would you like some faith with that?  :)

                                         

Turns Out Old Dogs CAN Learn New Tricks

It may seem from the title that I've got dogs on the brain a lot these days, especially after having written This Post and This Other Post.   Trust me, it's just a metaphor.

Really, it's not the Old Dog that's important so much as the New Trick.

Are ya ready to read it?  Are ya sure?  Okay.  Here is the new trick:

This 41 year old stay-at-home mom, farmer's wife, writer/filmmaker/speaker/kayaker, is going to be a drummer.

No, no, no, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight. You read it correctly.  I said I'm going to be a drummer.  Yes, like real drums.

Yeah, yeah, okay, fine.  You can stop laughing now.

No, seriously.  You can stop laughing.

Well, okay, just because you can't stop laughing doesn't make it any less true.  [sticks her tongue out in your general direction]

 Christmas 2009 saw us buying Lego Rock Band for Matthew.  We got him the game itself, a guitar and a set of drums.  We knew he'd love it and he did.  What we didn't know was that I would love it even more.

After Clinton got it all set up, Matt picked up the guitar and I sat down at the drums.  Before we even began to play the first song I knew it felt like home.  I fell in love.  There really isn't any other way to describe it.

I've always had a really good sense of rhythm.  I think having danced helps, also.  In both dance and drumming your arms and legs are doing different things at the same time.  I think both activities use the same part of my brain, the one that does its own thing when I let my conscious mind take a back seat and just feel.  I'm not saying all dancers can play the drums, but it seems to be working for me.

Somehow, sitting there, I just knew that I could do this.  I knew it like I knew my own name.  I can still completely recall that feeling.  That conviction has never faded.  

I thought and prayed and waited and listened.  The biggest problem was convincing Clinton that I needed drums, specifically electronic drums.  You know, the kind that you plug in to an amplifier.  That you use with headphones so that you don't wake up the kids when they're sleeping because that's the only time you get a minute to sit down anyway.   


Those kind of drums are not cheap.  He made me swear on my mother's life that I would not ask for another Christmas, birthday or anniversary present for the next eight to ten years.  (Okay, not really.  I did offer, though.  Sorry Mom.)

Thirteen months after my Christmas Lego Rock Band Revelation my drums finally arrived.  I sat down with the DVD Clinton got me and learned a few grooves and fills.  I've been banging around ever since, playing along with songs on my iPod.  On March 31 I will start lessons.

I.  Am going.  To.  ROCK!  Whoo-hoo!  [commence happy dancing]  I'm so excited I can barely stand myself.  I am fulfilling a life-long dream I only discovered 15 months ago. 

So that's the basic story of how a middle-aged momma is not so quietly transforming into a cool rocker chick.

Okay, okay.  I admit it.  Now I'm laughing, too.  Sheesh, I couldn't even WRITE that last line with a straight face. 

It's completely unlikely, isn't it?  Unexpected?  Darned near inconceivable?  I've heard of a dealing with a mid-life crisis before, but discovering a mid-life passion?  Really?

And that's what's got me just a little bit bugged about the whole thing.

Why now? 

Why am I only just now discovering this enormous side of myself?  I mean, I'm 41 for crying out loud.  Wouldn't it have been much better to discover this 30 years ago (oh, that makes me feel old)?   I might have been REALLY good instead of just potentially kinda good.  [cue Marlon Brando] "I could've been a contender."

What could my life have been like had I grown up playing the drums?

I think I have an idea.  Knowing myself as I do, I think I would have focused on the drums to the exclusion of everything else. "I'm good at this, I love it, why try anything else?"  I wouldn't be writing or speaking or making films. I wouldn't be open to other aspects of myself, other ways to be used of God in my little corner of the world.  I'd be a more linear person, to my detriment.

Worse, I think I would have focused on myself to the exclusion of my family. I'd be resentful of farming season and the time commitment involved because it would cut into my practice time.  I'd resent living in a small town where there are very few opportunities or venues to play.

I think I'd be much more selfish than I am already.

So maybe God does know something about timing.  And about me.

It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.  Proverbs 25:2

When The Dog Bites (or vomits, or chews your computer cable)

Back in October I shared with you about my friend, John, and the sweet dog he rescued, Jesse.   Should you so desire, you can refresh your memory here .  

I thought you might like an update.

If not, well, that's too bad.  You're going to get one anyway.  

According to John, "[Jesse] is about 178.9 degrees opposite of how he was when I first picked him up. We've been on several hikes, and he does wonderfully well.  Doesn't even need a leash....but that's because he wants to be near me all of the time. But he will run ahead, or run circles around me, and come back from time to time to check on me. He's an excellent hiking partner.  He's gotten to a point where he recognizes my family members and wags when he sees them. Such an awesome growth and blooming I've seen in him...and me (because of him!)."

Remember, this is the dog who would only come out from under the bed to eat.  The dog who had to be picked up and carried outside because of fear.  Whose playful side was only just beginning to emerge due to John's patience, love, and perseverance.  Who was just learning to trust John's daughter, Maddy. 

Yep.  Five months later I still get a smile on my face thinking about it.

Of course, there are also The Less Fun Moments.  The scratches on John's hands.  The scratches on John's floors.  The messes from toys that don't quite agree with Jesse's delicate digestive system.  The money on trips to the vet when Jesse is sick.  A trip to the store to replace the computer cable Jesse chewed to bits.  The mess when the remains of the cable... you get the picture.

But more than the clean up and tubes of triple antibiotic ointment are the scratches to John's heart.  There have been many times John felt, "Why did I get this dog?  I can't take care of an animal.  It's too much!"  Jesse would finally begin to get his bearings and appear to be progressing only to relapse .  John would work and work with Jesse and suddenly wham, back to square one.  The catastrophes that come at the very worst times.  Late nights, early mornings, worry and fear and pain.  How many times can a person hope and pray and try and try again and...

Oh.  Sorry.  We're discussing John and Jesse, aren't we.

Or are we?  

I know I've had my share of relationships where it got to the point that I simply could not handle one more crisis, one more phone call.  The heavenward pleas of  "Dear God I have tried EVERYTHING I know to do and NOTHING is working" are very familiar.  You can't make any sense of what is happening.  You don't want to care anymore.  The pain is simply too much to bear.  But no matter how hard you try or how you wish you could, you just cannot shut off your heart.       

The rescue dog you've given your heart and soul, mind and strength to, runs away from you, refusing to come home.  They throw your freely-offered, deeply-felt love back in your face and stomp away, blaming and vindictive.  They literally bite the hand that has loved and fed and cared for them.  

And you are left with wounds, gaping and festering and sore.  

It can be horrendously painful to love people.  

It is horrendously painful to love people.

Sometimes it would be easier to not care.  Easier to close up and close off, to shut out and shut down.  Plug up the wellspring of life that is your heart and by sheer force will it to dry up so that you never have to hurt like that again.

Wounded people do this all the time. 

But, once our hearts dry up and close down, we lose connection with every thing around us. 

Not just every one.  Every thing. 

Dulling our hearts dulls all of our senses as well.  To a certain degree, all food ends up tasting like oatmeal.  One scent becomes indistinguishable from another.  Red and yellow and turquoise all become shades of gray. 

When we lose our hearts, we lose our humanity.

When we lose our humanity, we lose our ability to see people.  Fellow human beings.  Someone's child.  God's child. 

Dulled eyes from closed hearts don't see other people AS people.  What was a person becomes an illusion, something we want them to be and not who they really are. We define them, see them as "just" this or "nothing but" that.  "Oh, he's just a drunk."  "She'll never be anything but a failure." 

Worse than an illusion, which at least validates their existence as some form of human, they become a means to an end.  A person becomes "nothing but" a possession.  Genocide.  Human trafficking.  Slavery.  Gang violence.  All of these and more stem from a disconnection, a shutting down, a loss of heart and humanity.  

When we lose touch with our hearts, we lose touch with the very essence of who we are, who we were created to be, and who others were created to be.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.  (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)

Are you getting this with me?

ABOVE ALL ELSE, guard your heart.

Above all else, GUARD your heart.

Above all else, guard YOUR heart.

Above all else, guard your HEART.

Why?

It is the wellspring of LIFE.

We lose our very lives when we lose our hearts.  We must protect our hearts, not from loving too much, but from loving too little.  

John could have very easily, many times over, decided he'd had enough with Jesse.  He could have given up and given Jesse away.  But John sees Jesse.  In spite of Jesse's wounds, in spite of John's wounds, love looks past and sees what only love can see.  

Value.

The old expression, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is true.  Value is also bestowed from the beholder to the beloved.   

Jesse is valuable to John not necessarily because Jesse is so great, or so smart, or so funny.  Jesse is valuable to John because John loves him.  

You are valuable, my rescue dog friend.  You are seen.  You are loved.  Not because you are so inherently lovable, but because The One Who Created You declares you to be so.  

Remember Who Loves You.  When you do, you'll remember He also loves rescue dogs.  And He will give you the strength and love you need so that you can truly see and value and love them.

When we dig deep and ask and try and love yet again, we help to break the cycle.

We love because He first loved us.  I  John 4:19

Just Another Sticky Day for Me

One day last month I had finally had enough.  Depression was threatening to take up permanent residence.  Having survived depressions before, this prospect did not excite me.  I needed to break out and make some changes, but I felt stuck.  Just.  Plain.  Stuck.  Kind of like the snowed in cars on Lake Shore Drive  this week.

If you recall from my last post  I was in a bit of a rough patch.  Right after that post (and I mean within hours of that post) things in my life took a major nosedive.  Don't worry, I won't bore you with details.  But, I got to the point that on this particular day I really needed some serious direction, encouragement and comfort, the kind that no amount of coffee or Reese's Miniature Peanut Butter Cups could provide.

So I FINALLY did what I SHOULD have done in the FIRST place.  I cried out to God.

"Lord, please, please help me today.  I need Your comfort and strength.  I need healing.  I know You love me, but I really could use a little something extra today."

Then I purposed to consciously clear my heart and mind and look for His love notes to me throughout the day.  I would ask, seek and knock and trust Him to give, reveal and open.  And, BONUS, I would write it all down so I could remember what He said.  :)

The first love note came in the form of a friend's facebook status, which I then copied stole for myself.  It said, "The optimist says the cup is half full.  The pessimist says the cup is half empty.  The child of God says my cup runneth over."   Ah!  Yes, Lord, yes.  Even in all that is going on right now, I am truly, truly blessed.  (Again, don't worry, I won't bore you with details.)  A little perspective there to start me off.

Later in the day I listened to The Daily Audio Bible with Brian Hardin.  The New Testament reading was from Matthew 12:1-21.  In this passage Jesus heals a man with a shriveled hand.  I just about fell over.  This was a passage God gave me back in November to let me know He was going to heal my hand (which turned out to be my neck/back/shoulder/arm).  It was loving confirmation that He IS still working.

THEN I heard verse 20: A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out, till He leads justice to victory.  Oh how I have been a bruised reed!  Oh how my passion and creativity have been nearly snuffed out lately!  How comforting that justice and victory are coming!  I copied that verse down and now it sits right in front of me at the computer.  I CLING to that verse.

Once Brian finishes reading the daily scripture verses he will usually make comments about what he read and then prays.  Included in his prayer were these words:  "We thank you for what you've done in our lives and what you have yet to do.  We look forward with longing to the day when your work is complete and we are completely restored, face to face with you as we were meant to be."  All of that really resonated with me, but my brain really hooked on the word restored.  That word factors into many areas of my life these days - physical, emotional, relational, spiritual.  It's a big theme for me this year.  Lord, You know how I long for the restoration that can only be found in You.  Thank You.

After Brian prays and gives any announcements he plays called in prayer requests from other listeners.  One of the requests that day was from a lady who had many long term medical problems.  She said, "[God] told me a few years ago that he would heal me and I believed him and just said let my healing glorify him, so whenever the timing was right, that is when it should be rather than me try to argue that it should be then....He [said he] was going to start healing me but really gently."  That exactly fits what I've been sensing about some healing that I've needed  in my own life.  He IS gently healing me.  Loving confirmation again! 

Later on facebook a friend posted as a status Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."   This verse is special to me already because I consider the first part to be my kayaking verse.  But after reading it this time I saw something different.  I saw Him carrying me through rivers of tears and through the fire of pain.  YES! my heart said.  YES, Lord!  YOU ARE WITH ME!

Later I messaged a friend and mentor for some guidance on all my stuckness, letting her know what I was already doing and wondering if there were other bases I needed to cover.  She messaged back that I was doing the right things, that I was on the right track.  Her words brought me a great deal of comfort.

And, yes, again on facebook a friend posted her daily "Message from God."  Several of my friends get that app and God has used their "message" more than once to send a message to me.  This time was no exception.  "On this day, God wants you to know...that transformation is possible at any time.  A person can transform, a situation can transform.  Never lose hope.  Under the proper conditions of love, faith and belief transformation is quite possible."  Transformation at any time!  Never lose hope of the restoration of people and situations!  I must continue on in love and faith and let HIM work it out. 

And that brings me around to what I believe is my verse from God for 2011, from Zechariah 4:6, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel, 'Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord of hosts."  You see, the name Zerubbabel is a bit special to me at the moment (if you see my film once it's finished you'll understand why).  It's also a BIG reminder to me that once I do my best I must let it go, trusting Him for the outcome, not just with the film but in all areas of my life.

Reminders to count my blessings.  Reminders of previous promises.  Gentle guidance.  Restoration is possible, and is coming.  A gradual but perfectly timed healing of pain and sorrow is on the way.  Comfort that I'm doing what I need to be doing.  I will hang in there and not lose hope. 

EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  And now, a few weeks later, I am pleased to report that I have been officially unstuck. 

ASK.  EXPECT an answer.  BE OPEN to receive it, in whatever form(s) it comes.  Probably most importantly, WRITE IT DOWN.  Let the evidence of God's past faithfulness be the snow plow that unsticks you the next time you're feeling snowed under.