Sunday, February 15, 2009

Pearls

I have had a special place in my heart for pearls for as long as I can remember. My mother, to this day, wears a ring she received from her parents for her high school graduation, with two pearls set in gold. One of my earliest memories is admiring this ring. I received a pearl ring from my parents for my graduation, but I kept losing the pearls and so now I have it in a special box for safe keeping. I have various strands of pearls, both real and imitation, that I have acquired over the years, various lengths and various diameters for various occasions.
I also have a sensitivity to metal, and so it bothers my skin to wear most jewelry. Gold and silver chains itch my neck, and I may never get to wear earrings again. Even watchbands tend to bother me. But pearls, ah, I can wear pearls all the livelong day. And thanks to Coco Chanel, pearls are classic and still contemporary. Nothing says luxury to me like a long strand of pearls draped around a woman's neck...
But it wasn't until today that I realized their symbolism.
A pearl is formed when a foreign body embeds itself inside an oyster. The oyster coats the particle with a natural secretion, and over time the many layers of this coating become the beautiful gem. A thing of beauty with pain at its core.
How many "foreign bodies" have embedded themselves in my life? How many times have I cursed the pain, or asked God to take it away, or simply whined, "Why me?" But then I (usually, eventually) quit whining and walk through the pain, praying I learn the lessons I need to learn. Day by day, prayer by prayer, layer by layer, He transforms my pain into something beautiful. Maybe that beauty is character. Maybe it is a softened heart. Maybe it is knowledge. Very likely it is something that resembles... my favorite jewelry.
I'll never see pearls in the same way again.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

5 Loaves + 2 Fish = 20 Years of Theater

I am five loaves and two fish.
It all started sophomore year of high school. The friends I walked home with decided to join the Props Crew in the Theater Department at our high school. I didn't really want to walk home by myself every day, and so I joined them. The show in production was "Guys and Dolls." Actors, singers, dancers, makeup, lighting, sets, costumes, drops...all was exciting and new to me.
I was thrilled that as a new member of the backstage crews I was assigned a big and important job. I got to move The Trash Can during a scene change. Ah, yes, I remember it well. It was a high stakes, high pressure situation.
Well, okay, so I exaggerate. After all, any idiot can move a trash can out of the way. Even so, somehow d
uring one rehearsal I managed to forget it. After rehearsal Erika, one of the dancers, made it clear to me (very nicely) that if I didn't move the trash can, she couldn't do her flip onto the stage and the next scene could not start. This information switched on the light bulb in my head.
I realized that I had the opportunity to contribute to the success or failure of this show. I didn't have to be tall, blonde, pretty, smart, rich, funny, talented or athletic to perform this task. This was a niche I could fill. I could be part of something fun, exciting and creative.
I was also completely fascinated by the whole dynamic behind the production. So many people came together, with different backgrounds and ideas and reasons to be there, and created something that lived, breathed, and affected people. This wasn't a painting you looked at on a wall -- this was living art. Every single performance was unique and yet the same. Each person had their own job to do in time, each thread woven purposefully in the tapestry, line by line, scene by scene. It was incredibly exciting to me. And I got to be a tiny thread... This was the birth of the first passion in my life.
Back then it didn't occur to me that I would do anything but work on a crew of some sort, possibly even be Stage Manager. I did get to stage manage a few shows later in high school, after we moved from my beloved Chicago suburb to the DC suburbs. My plan in college was to continue and work backstage in professional theater. Nothing glamorous, nothing grand, but part of something I loved. God, however, had other plans.
God has taken my very small measure of talent and knowledge, my five loaves and two fish, and multiplied them in ways I could never have imagined back then. I have had the privilege of being a part of some wonderful and amazing productions over the past 20 some years after high school. I have been able to stage manage, perform, even write and direct theatrical productions. The writing especially is something that was never even on the radar. Granted, none of the shows have been what anyone would call professional. They have nearly all been church related, but God has given me the opportunity to use my tiny bit of knowledge and talent to further His Kingdom in this way. And each time I am presented with the opportunity to fill this niche in this tiny corner of the Kingdom, I am honored and humbled to play my part.